Lulu, the British singer who rose to fame as a teenager with the 1964 hit "Shout," writes that she was "afraid of sex" while growing up at the height of her career and has also disclosed a long struggle with alcoholism in an excerpt from her forthcoming memoir, If Only You Knew, due Sept. 25.
In the extract, the 76-year-old describes how sex was not openly discussed in her home and how her mother made the topic feel "almost shameful," leaving her feeling "very self-conscious" and more comfortable living in fantasy than confronting intimacy. She said she wanted love and romance but was frightened of the reality, adding that she "wasn’t a fan" of sex and that human biology had largely "completely passed" her by during her early teens.
Lulu recounts having boyfriends, including Alex Bell from the Luvvers and a brief romance with Peter Noone of Herman’s Hermits, but said most relationships did not progress beyond a goodnight kiss. She credits her first manager, Marian, and friendships with musicians’ wives and girlfriends for shielding her from situations she did not welcome. She also writes about a longstanding crush on Eric Clapton, describing a party she held that included members of the Beatles, the Who, the Animals and Cat Stevens, and an encounter outside where she and Clapton smoked and talked.
Separately, Lulu writes candidly about alcohol use and recovery. In the memoir extract and in a recent interview, she described herself as a "secret drinker" who for years avoided discussing her alcoholism publicly until she understood it better. She said she had aimed to be "Miss Perfect" and feared becoming like her father. Her drinking, she said, was manageable until her sixties, when menopause, the deaths of her parents and an "empty nest" after her son left home contributed to increased reliance on alcohol and led to rehab and recovery.
The singer links her alcohol use to family patterns and trauma. She recounts witnessing violent domestic abuse between her parents, including an episode when her father was "dragged away" by police, and described alcoholism as "a family illness" with a genetic component. She said she had spent much of her life suppressing feelings while supporting family and maintaining a professional image.
Lulu, who has been married twice, first to Maurice Gibb from 1969 to 1973 and later to hairstylist John Frieda from 1977 to 1991, said she has not experienced "bad experiences" in the bedroom and that she had exercised caution early in her career. She is the mother of Jordan Frieda and currently lives in central London with her cockapoo.
If Only You Knew is published by Hodder & Stoughton and is scheduled for release on Sept. 25; the publisher lists a retail price of £25. Lulu is due to begin a tour at the end of September, and her official site lists ticketing information for the dates.