Lulu says she was "afraid of sex" while coming of age at the height of her 1960s fame and has revealed for the first time that she is in recovery from alcoholism in an exclusive extract from her forthcoming memoir, If Only You Knew.
The 76-year-old singer, who rose to prominence in 1964 with the hit "Shout," writes that sexual intimacy felt taboo in her home and left her feeling "very self-conscious," so she delayed physical relationships until she found someone she loved. She also details long periods of secret drinking that culminated in rehabilitation and recovery in recent years.
In the excerpt, Lulu describes a childhood in which sex "had never been openly discussed" and was portrayed by her mother as something to be ashamed of. "I wanted love, I wanted romance. I was just scared of the reality, so I spent my time wrapped up in fantasy, in love with the idea of love," she writes. She says those attitudes, combined with skipping school, meant she lacked information about human biology and that most of her early relationships "went no further than a goodnight kiss."
Lulu recounts being protected by her first manager, Marian, and by befriending musicians' partners as a way to signal disinterest and avoid exploitation. She also recalls a youthful crush on Eric Clapton, and a party she hosted hoping he would attend, describing her nervousness when he arrived.
The memoir extract also explores the singer's struggle with alcohol. Lulu tells The Times she was a "secret drinker" who had long avoided speaking publicly about her alcoholism. She said she had sought to be "Miss Perfect" and feared resembling her father. Lulu says her drinking escalated after menopause, as familiar supports left her life and she felt increasingly isolated: "For me, it had been controllable until I got into my sixties," she wrote. "After I became menopausal, with both my parents gone, the empty nest, looking around and seeing all the young kids in the music industry, I became more and more reliant on it and so it just got worse."
She describes witnessing violent domestic abuse between her parents and the shame she carried as a result, calling addiction a "family illness" and saying "the gene is there." Lulu links her alcoholism to years spent suppressing feelings while supporting her family and maintaining a professional image.
Lulu has been married twice, to Maurice Gibb from 1969 to 1973 and to hairdresser John Frieda from 1977 to 1991. She says she now lives in central London with a cockapoo and is in a "brighter" place. If Only You Knew is due to be published Sept. 25 by Hodder & Stoughton.
Her memoir release coincides with a scheduled tour beginning at the end of September; ticket information is available through her official channels. The extract and interview mark the most extensive public discussion of both her formative fears about intimacy and her path to recovery, subjects she said she delayed discussing until she had the language to understand and explain them. The singer credited reading other memoirs and self-help books with helping her reach the point of speaking openly about her experiences.
Lulu first gained public attention as a teenager in the 1960s and has continued to perform across subsequent decades. In If Only You Knew she frames the revelations about intimacy and addiction as part of a wider effort to make sense of her life and to offer candor to readers who may be grappling with similar issues.