Prince Harry's memoir Spare recounts a June 2018 encounter at Kensington Palace in which he says a remark by the Duchess of Sussex to the Princess of Wales escalated into a sharp exchange that the prince describes as emblematic of wider tensions between the two couples.
Harry writes that the Sussexes visited the Waleses at their Kensington flat after the couples had lived through a series of arguments while preparing for the Sussex wedding. According to the memoir, the meeting began informally over tea and biscuits but deteriorated when Meghan Markle said Catherine — newly returned from maternity leave — must have "baby brain because of her hormones." Harry says Prince William then called the comment "rude," pointed a finger at Meghan and told her "These things are not done here." Meghan responded, he writes, by asking William to keep his finger out of her face. Harry says the exchange ended with an embrace and the couples leaving shortly afterward.
The memoir places the encounter in the context of earlier reports that the women had clashed during preparation for the May 2018 wedding, including accounts that the Princess of Wales had been left upset after a bridesmaid dress fitting for Princess Charlotte. Meghan has disputed some public versions of that episode. In a 2021 televised interview with Oprah Winfrey, the Duchess said a different interaction had left her in tears and said the Princess of Wales had apologised and brought her flowers; the interview also included the Sussexes' claims of racism and mental-health struggles. Harry's book, published in January 2023, added further intimate detail and described a broader pattern of strained relations within the family.
In Spare, Harry also writes about repeated confrontations with his brother, and about William's private criticisms of Meghan. The memoir includes passages in which Harry characterises William as an "archnemesis" and recounts physical and verbal clashes that the author says occurred between them over the years. Other public accounts and media reports since the couples' split from royal duties in 2020 have portrayed the break as part of a trajectory of disagreements, mutual grievances and competing narratives about how events unfolded.
The 2020 decision by the Sussexes to step back from senior royal duties, the Sussexes' 2021 interview with Oprah and subsequent public statements alleging unconscious bias, and the disclosures in Spare have all fed sustained public interest in rifts at the centre of the royal household. Members of the family have at various times signalled a wish to repair relations; King Charles has been reported as open to reconciliation and there have been intermittent meetings between communications officials. Those efforts, however, have not erased public accounts of strained private relations.
Royal aides and external commentators have said the episodes described in public accounts reflect a mix of personal disagreement and media-amplified differences at a particularly high-profile moment. Supporters of the Sussexes have pointed to the couple's statements about treatment they received, while others close to the Waleses have said reports of rows have been uncomfortable and, in some cases, inaccurate. The competing accounts have repeatedly reinvigorated public discussion about privacy, duty and the role of the monarchy in contemporary life.
The episode described in Spare is one of several specific interpersonal incidents that have been revisited in media reports, memoirs and interviews in the years since the two couples' split. While the two sides have occasionally signalled a desire to reduce public conflict, the memoir and subsequent reporting underline how personal disputes have intersected with public roles and intense media scrutiny, sustaining debate about both the individuals involved and the institution they represent.