Actor Greg Wise has shared that his marriage to Emma Thompson was significantly impacted by their "brutal" in-vitro fertilization (IVF) journey, to the point of feeling "dislocated." He credits therapy with ultimately "saving" their relationship.
The couple, who are parents to daughter Gaia, 26, underwent IVF after struggling to conceive naturally. Wise, 60, explained on Elizabeth Day's "How To Fail" podcast that they had been together for three to four years when they decided to start a family and discovered they couldn't conceive. They traveled to New York for IVF treatment, which resulted in Emma becoming pregnant around her 40th birthday.
Wise described the IVF process as bringing "baggage" and a profound sense of failure, as he felt both he and Thompson were perceived as inadequate for being unable to conceive naturally. "It's brutal, IVF, and it brings so much baggage with it. It's the most authentic feeling of failure ever because this is why we're here," he stated.
Despite the joy of having their daughter, the inability to provide her with a sibling caused further pain. Wise noted that it took a considerable amount of time to overcome these feelings. "It took us a very long time to dig ourselves out of that hole. We didn't get help with it," he said.
He added that it was the "exquisite love" for their daughter that began to heal them, but the desire for another child and the perceived failure of not having one created a significant strain. "It takes a time, it takes a while. Of course, with a little person, your heart is so open. The dripping love you feel for this little, tiny thing helped heal."
Wise emphasized the critical role of therapy, stating, "Therapy saved my life. It saved our marriage, without a doubt. Without a doubt. I would not be sitting here without therapy."
In 2003, Greg Wise and Emma Thompson adopted their son Tindyebwa 'Tindy' Agaba Wise, a Rwandan orphan who was 16 at the time. The couple met in 1995 while filming "Sense and Sensibility" and married in 2003.
Their daughter Gaia has followed her parents into the film industry, making her acting debut in the BBC series "Silent Witness" and later starring in "The Lord Of The Rings: The War Of The Rohirrim." In 2021, Gaia spoke about her three-year battle with anorexia, which began at age 16, and credited her parents and therapy for saving her life after an intervention staged in 2017.