Novelist Louise Doughty discovered a hidden cache of letters and legal documents after her mother's death that revealed a long-kept family secret: her parents' early romance was fraught with the complexities of a prior marriage and societal disapproval.
A Hidden History
Doughty's parents, Avis and Ken, married in 1959 and remained devoted until their deaths in 2012 and 2014, respectively. Their life together, as Doughty perceived it, was one of quiet dedication. However, while clearing out their long-time home after her mother's passing, Doughty stumbled upon a black suitcase in her mother's wardrobe. Inside, she found numerous letters exchanged between her parents and legal documents dated 1955, four years before their marriage.
These papers revealed that at the time her parents met, her father was still married to his first wife, to whom he had been wed for a decade. Her mother, Avis, was a teenager, and her father, Ken, was ten years her senior. The social climate of the post-war era in the East Midlands, where they lived and worked, was one where divorce carried significant stigma. The discovery explained the absence of wedding photos during Doughty's childhood and her mother's quiet admission years prior that she had been upset about not having a white wedding.
Navigating Societal Pressures
Letters from Avis to Ken detail her deep affection and yearning for him, alongside her anxiety about the social repercussions of their relationship. She described feeling sick with nerves when walking past neighbors whose scrutiny she felt keenly. One letter from Avis to Ken expressed her desire for children and her heartbreak at the prospect of him not being able to be with her, writing, "I only ask one thing. That you don’t give her our children until you are quite sure that it can last."
Conversely, Ken's letters, including one found without a date but clearly written before their marriage, expressed his resolution to end the relationship. He wrote, "I suppose you know what this letter will say before reading the contents – at last, at long last, I am resolved enough to make a decision, and have decided that I shall not see you again…"
Doughty also found evidence of her mother's resilience, with one letter noting, "I did have the satisfaction of making the fair-haired girl feel very uncomfortable last night." This referred to an encounter with her father's first wife.
A Legacy of Love
The pressure of societal disapproval and moral conflict eventually led to the end of Ken's first marriage. He obtained a divorce a decade after his initial marriage and remarried Avis nearly four years later. Doughty speculated on the well-being of her father's first wife, hoping she eventually found happiness.
Despite the difficult beginnings, Doughty's parents shared a profound love and devotion for nearly 60 years. Her father died in 2012 from Alzheimer's, and her mother passed away in 2014 from heart disease. Discovering these letters after their deaths provided Doughty with a new perspective on their lives, revealing her mother as a spirited and brave woman and her father as a man with hidden vulnerabilities.
Doughty's memoir, "On This Spot Fell One Tear Of Love," published by Phoenix, explores this rediscovered aspect of her parents' love story. She considers the letters a final gift, offering insights into their joy, spirit, and enduring love, and highlighting their success in ensuring their children had advantages they themselves lacked due to limited formal education.