Gambling addiction can have a devastating impact on relationships, families, and future generations, according to former NRL player Luke Bateman and Triple J host Dee Salmin.
Bateman, who has spoken openly about his past struggles with gambling, appeared on "The Hook Up," a podcast hosted by Salmin, to discuss the issue. Their conversation was prompted by a listener survey where 65% of respondents indicated that gambling would be a relationship dealbreaker, with an additional 24% stating it would only become a problem if it directly affected them. Bateman cautioned those in the latter group, emphasizing that gambling's reach inevitably impacts loved ones.
"For the people saying 'unless it impacts me,' I want to say to them, 'it will impact you'," Bateman stated. He explained that risks escalate when couples move in together, marry, or combine finances, as debts and financial consequences can become shared.
Gambling harm is a significant issue in Australia, with an estimated annual cost of $25 billion, approximately $6.2 billion of which affects interpersonal relationships. Roughly 15% of Australian adults, or about 3.3 million people, experience emotional or financial distress due to their own or a close associate's gambling. Around 6% report being harmed by someone else's gambling in the past year. Research also indicates a correlation between a higher density of gaming machines in communities and increased rates of recorded family and domestic violence.
Individuals with severe gambling problems are considerably more likely to be divorced or separated. Furthermore, children of parents struggling with gambling addiction are estimated to be up to ten times more likely to develop similar problems themselves.
Salmin stressed the importance of open conversations about finances before relationships become serious. "Talking about money is so scary and feels so unsexy and like you're just so worried about what it'll mean for the dynamic of the relationship once you start having those more serious conversations," she said.
Bateman recounted his early exposure to gambling, starting at age five, and how it became ingrained in the culture of professional rugby league, where betting and alcohol were common social activities. He described how gambling was integrated into team bonding and social events, often unquestioned.
His own betting escalated with his rugby league income. Bateman revealed he lost approximately $1 million through gambling and incurred about $250,000 in debt, losing his entire savings of $80,000 in a single month in 2018. This addiction led to him living in two states of mind: either gambling or planning to gamble. His struggles caused significant emotional and financial harm to his former partner, mother, siblings, and friends, who endured his panic attacks, emotional outbursts, and financial crises.
"Gambling harm is not just about the individual... I lost my partner during it. I lost friends during it," Bateman said, noting that his addiction took precedence over his relationships. He admitted to saying hurtful things to his mother during his struggles.
Bateman advised that while partners can offer support, it must come with clear conditions, and they should not sacrifice their own well-being trying to help someone unwilling to help themselves. "There is no amount of love, support or help that you can give somebody if they don't want to help themselves," he stated.
He eventually sought help through 12-step meetings and rebuilt his life by re-establishing routines focused on work, reading, and writing, asserting that recovery is possible with the right support.
Lifeline is available on 13 11 14, and Gambling Help Online can be reached at 1800 858 858.