Most families delay discussions about senior care until an emergency occurs, a situation experts say can intensify stress and lead to less favorable outcomes. Tatyana Zlotsky, CEO of A Place for Mom, notes that 77% of families she assists wish they had initiated these conversations sooner.
Planning for senior care before a crisis allows families more time to explore different care options, understand associated costs, and ensure an older adult's preferences are honored. Zlotsky stated that undertaking such significant decisions under the duress of a medical emergency exacerbates an already stressful and financially burdensome process. "And yet most families are still not taking action," she observed.
Caregiver burnout is a significant factor contributing to procrastination, Zlotsky explained. Many adult children are already managing numerous responsibilities, making it challenging to anticipate future care needs. The transition can also be difficult as parents strive to maintain independence while their children begin to take on caregiving roles, often leading to resistance from the older adult.
Subtle changes in cognitive function, rather than dramatic memory loss, can be early indicators that a conversation about future care is necessary. Zlotsky advised adult children to observe these signs during regular visits. Potential indicators include accumulating spoiled or expired food, unhandled mail or bills, frequently misplaced items like keys or phones, difficulty recalling recent events, or struggles with multi-step tasks that were once routine, such as preparing coffee.
"Maybe Mom has made the same pot of coffee for the last 20 years," Zlotsky offered as an example. "Now all of a sudden she doesn’t drink coffee anymore… the truth might be that it takes five steps to fill the coffee maker… and her executive functioning skills are failing her."
Zlotsky emphasized that family members are not expected to diagnose their elder parents and should seek professional guidance. She also highlighted the importance of listening to the older adult's wishes during these conversations. "Your parents do have opinions on how they want to be taken care of, and what that looks like and who does it," she said. "It’s really about having the courage to start that conversation and engaging in it."
Addressing these issues proactively can ease the financial and emotional journey for families. The average family caregiver loses approximately $21,000 annually due to reduced work hours to care for aging relatives, according to Zlotsky.