Erika Kirk, widow of the late Turning Point USA founder Charlie Kirk, has detailed her journey through grief in the year since his assassination. In a guest essay published in The New York Times, she revealed that the advice of Second Lady Usha Vance – to focus on getting "through the next 15 minutes" – became a critical mantra.
Charlie Kirk was assassinated on September 10, 2025, during an outdoor event at Utah Valley University. Erika Kirk, who assumed leadership of Turning Point USA following her husband's death, described the initial 24 hours as a "fever dream." She shared that Vance's words, "Just get through the next 15 minutes," offered a way to manage the overwhelming reality of her loss.
Kirk recounted moments of profound pain, such as seeing her husband's toothbrush and towel, and avoiding their shared bedroom for months. She explained that the advice helped her confront these painful reminders gradually. Milestones like the first Saturday without a love note, his 32nd birthday, her birthday, and Thanksgiving were difficult, marking the need for new traditions as old ones were disrupted by his absence. She noted that her young daughter was also navigating her own experience of loss.
"Time continues even when every part of you wants it to pause or, better yet, rewind," Kirk wrote. "But the people we love who have passed on would not want us to spend the rest of our lives trying to rewind. At first, I needed to survive the next 15 minutes. Over time, I’ve realized that Charlie would want me to live them."
Kirk also addressed questions about her faith, stating that she is not angry with God, believing her husband "more than fulfilled" his purpose on Earth. She found strength in faith, acknowledging that true faith involves accepting unanswered questions and finding peace. She noted that the tragedy has inspired acts of good, with people returning to faith, reconciling with families, and forgiving others because of Charlie Kirk's legacy. She stated, "I know my husband is in heaven, but I ache for him to be here. Still, I can stand and say without a shadow of a doubt that God is good."
While the intense waves of grief still come, Kirk described them as different a year later, sometimes welcomed as moments that make her husband feel "impossibly close." She believes grief is a universal experience that does not discriminate. "I am learning that grieving Charlie and living life at the same time are part of the rhythm of grief. I can miss him with every part of me and still laugh with our children. I can have a broken heart and still experience joy," she wrote.
Psychotherapist Jonathan Alpert commented on Vance's advice, noting that grief often involves anxieties about the future. He stated that "sometimes you really do need to shrink the window and just get through the next 15 minutes." Alpert added that resilience is not about pretending to be fine but about living one's life despite pain, and that Kirk's essay demonstrates these two can coexist.
Charlie Kirk founded Turning Point USA to promote conservatism on college campuses. He is survived by Erika and their two children.