As A-level and GCSE exam results are released, parents are being advised to look out for subtle signs of distress in their teenagers. Dr. Max Pemberton, writing for the Daily Mail, warns that some young people who appear to cope well with disappointing results may actually be experiencing significant emotional turmoil.

Dr. Pemberton recounts a case where a 17-year-old girl presented with a panic attack shortly after receiving her A-level results. Despite appearing to take the disappointment in stride, her physical symptoms indicated underlying distress that she had suppressed. This experience highlights a critical point: teenagers who feel they have let down their parents may be less likely to admit they are struggling, as doing so would involve confronting the disappointment they are actively trying to avoid.

This phenomenon can lead to a performance of well-being, where outward signs contradict internal feelings. Dr. Pemberton outlines five key indicators parents should be aware of:

  • Unnecessary reassurance: A teenager repeatedly stating they are fine without being prompted, or telling parents to stop worrying when no concern has been expressed, can be a sign they are trying to shut down a conversation.
  • Overly cheerful demeanor: While coping with setbacks often involves emotional fluctuations, a persistent and immediate cheerfulness can be a sign of forced effort to mask underlying disappointment.
  • Being overly busy: A sudden embrace of a packed schedule, filled with early mornings, constant activity, and extra commitments, might be an attempt to avoid idle time where difficult thoughts can surface.
  • Increased control: When a young person feels a loss of control in one area of their life, they may exert excessive control over another. This can manifest as a sudden intense focus on the gym, diet, appearance, or an unusually tidy living space.
  • Losing their temper: Anger can be an easier emotion for adolescents to express than shame. Arguments that seem unrelated to exam results, such as over trivial matters, may be a release valve for deeper disappointment.

Dr. Pemberton suggests that when addressing potential distress, parents should opt for side-by-side conversations in relaxed settings, such as during a car ride or a walk, rather than direct, face-to-face talks. He advises asking practical questions about future plans before delving into emotional well-being, as this can encourage openness. He also cautions against trying to