State divorce laws are facing increasing scrutiny as individuals and advocates call for reforms to simplify the separation process, citing financial burdens, emotional distress, and safety concerns associated with prolonged legal proceedings. While some conservative lawmakers seek to make divorce more difficult, others are pushing to ease restrictions, arguing that current laws can trap people in unhappy or unsafe marriages.
North Carolina, for example, requires couples to live separately for a full year before they can file for divorce. Rebecca Feinglos, who experienced an abusive turn in her marriage, found this requirement arduous. Her divorce took 18 months to finalize, even without children. "It was so confusing even for me," Feinglos said, noting the difficulty of navigating legal information without legal representation. She has since dedicated herself to advocating for changes in divorce laws.
While most states have moved towards no-fault divorce, allowing couples to separate without proving wrongdoing, many impose waiting periods. Some states require couples to live apart for a specific duration before filing, a measure intended as a cooling-off period. Others impose waiting periods after filing. The duration can vary significantly, from 20 days in Wyoming to six months in California, with the presence of children sometimes extending these timelines. In certain states, the clock on these waiting periods only begins when a spouse is formally served, which can cause further delays if a spouse is difficult to locate.
Erin Levine, a former divorce lawyer, criticized the adversarial nature of current divorce proceedings, stating, "The system sets people up for conflict, sets people up for war." The terminology used in legal documents, such as "petition" or "complaint," and the framing of one spouse suing another, contribute to this confrontational atmosphere.
Political debates surrounding divorce have also intensified, with some conservatives advocating for stricter divorce laws as part of a broader agenda to strengthen the traditional nuclear family. Proposals have included expanding "covenant marriages," which limit divorce to specific grounds like adultery or abuse, and restricting no-fault divorce. Notably, House Speaker Mike Johnson has expressed support for making divorce more difficult, and Vice President JD Vance has criticized no-fault divorce, though his spokesperson later clarified he does not support legislative changes to divorce law.
Conversely, a growing movement aims to make divorces more accessible. In 2023, Maryland eliminated fault-based divorce entirely, reduced its separation mandate from one year to six months, and allowed couples living under the same roof to be considered separated. Washington D.C. went further by eliminating its separation requirement altogether. Virginia, with a law effective recently, now allows individuals to appear before a judge on the first day of separation, eliminating previous waiting periods for custody and property matters.
The issue has gained traction on social media, with authors Jen Hamilton and Hadley Fairley sharing their experiences. Hamilton, from North Carolina, has spoken out against what she terms "asinine, outdated, and paternalistic laws," raising funds to help women escape unsafe relationships. Fairley, in Mississippi, detailed a nearly three-year legal battle to end her marriage, which ultimately required proving fault due to her spouse's non-agreement to a no-fault divorce. The process involved extensive court proceedings, including proving "habitual cruel and inhuman treatment" based on actions like perjury, financial misconduct, and manipulation.
Historically, ending a marriage required proving fault, a process that often involved airing intimate details. The introduction of no-fault divorce laws, beginning in California in 1969, aimed to simplify the process. However, critics argue that mandatory waiting periods, intended to allow for reconciliation or careful decision-making, can actually endanger individuals leaving abusive situations. Research indicates that separation can be a period of heightened risk for victims of domestic violence, with homicide risk increasing when an abuser perceives a loss of control.
The dangers associated with prolonged divorce proceedings were tragically highlighted in Virginia. Cerina Fairfax spent nearly two years separated but living in the same house as her husband, former Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax, while navigating divorce. A legal technicality delayed her filing, and tragically, in April, Justin Fairfax shot and killed her in their home before taking his own life. Virginia's new divorce law, which took effect shortly before the incident, is part of a broader effort to study potential reforms, including the elimination of fault-based divorce.
Courtenay Schwartz of the Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance noted that despite recent changes, Virginia's laws remain difficult to navigate, especially for those experiencing domestic violence who may face prohibitive legal costs. Democrats in Virginia have shown increasing interest in "access to justice" issues, aiming to make the legal system more accessible for low-income individuals.
In North Carolina, State Senator Woodson Bradley is sponsoring a bill to reduce the separation requirement to six months and allow immediate divorce for domestic violence survivors. Despite bipartisan outreach from some Republican lawmakers, the bill has stalled. North Carolina's Democratic Governor Josh Stein has stated his support for reform, emphasizing the need for laws that reflect contemporary realities.
For individuals like Rebecca Feinglos, the ongoing legislative efforts represent a potential shift towards a more compassionate and practical approach to divorce. "I do believe we’re at an inflection point," she said.