A Spanish protocol and etiquette expert has identified Queen Mary of Denmark's famously controlled public image as a potential "weak point" of her reign, a perspective that an Australian royal commentator has strongly refuted. The criticism, originating from Spanish expert María José Gómez Verdú, suggests that Mary's extraordinary self-control, a hallmark of her more than two decades in the Danish royal family, could potentially hinder public connection.
Gómez Verdú posited that while Mary's composure has made her a formidable representative, it risks being interpreted as emotional distance. "The perfect character that makes her so solid can also be her weakest point," she told the Spanish publication Lecturas, adding that showing more of her human side might become increasingly necessary.
However, Australian etiquette expert and royal commentator Jo Hayes vehemently disagreed. "It is this 'self-control' that is the very thing that has stood Mary in good stead for the entirety of her royal career, and will continue to do so for the rest of her life," Hayes told the Daily Mail. Hayes, founder of EtiquetteExpert.Org, emphasized that restraint is a fundamental aspect of royal training, encompassing both speech and emotions, particularly in public.
Royal watchers have pointed to a period in late 2023, when photographs emerged of then-Crown Prince Frederik in Madrid with socialite Genoveva Casanova, as an example of Mary's poise. Despite widespread speculation, Mary continued with public engagements without addressing the rumors. Gómez Verdú viewed this restraint as both a strength and a potential issue, suggesting that an impeccably controlled royal might appear inaccessible in an era where audiences expect authenticity and relatability.
Hayes argued that this expectation misunderstands the role of a monarch. "Nations want and need their regents to be calm and 'in control'. Especially in times of war, global uncertainty and social unrest. It gives citizens a sense of order and assurance," she said. Hayes cited Queen Elizabeth II as an example of composure through adversity and suggested that Mary's self-control has helped maintain stability within the Danish monarchy and her family.
Addressing the notion that Mary's composure makes her seem emotionally distant, Hayes stated, "She doesn't come across as emotionally distant - but rather as someone in control of her emotions. That's a trait that ought to be applauded." Hayes concluded that Mary's calm demeanor is befitting of a queen and that she is well-regarded by other European royals and the Danish public.