Alasdair Gill, the son of late restaurant critic AA Gill and former Conservative politician Amber Rudd, has detailed a decade lost to drug and alcohol addiction in his new memoir, "Knives And Spoons: A Chef's Story Of Kitchens, Addictions And Mayhem." Now six years sober, Gill, 33, describes his addiction as centered in a unique location: the Misty River Hotel, a six-storey Georgian house in London's Kensington, a neighborhood known for its affluence and proximity to Kensington Palace.
Gill characterized the Misty River Hotel as a "crack house" that operated in plain sight, frequented by a diverse group including "royalty, degenerates, lords, guys who’d survived the 80s punk scene." In the basement, drugs like cocaine and ketamine were dealt, while the attic housed a dealer of heroin. Gill admitted to using various substances, describing his experience as starting as a "Disneyland" of excitement but deteriorating into squalor, with days and nights spent in difficult circumstances.
Despite his addiction, Gill maintained a career as a chef in various London restaurants, some of which held Michelin stars. His memoir chronicles his struggles with freebasing crack cocaine, consuming fentanyl-laced Xanax, and excessive drinking and drug use.
Gill inherited an addictive personality, dyslexia, and a passion for food from his father, AA Gill, who was himself a recovering alcoholic and drug user. The elder Gill often used the initials AA in tribute to Alcoholics Anonymous. Alasdair Gill's mother, Amber Rudd, served as Home Secretary and Secretary of State for Work and Pensions between 2016 and 2019, a period when his addiction was at its peak. He has a sister, journalist Flora.
Gill recounted that while his family was aware of his struggles, the full extent of his addiction was not always apparent due to his ability to conceal it. He described instances where his mother, busy with her political career, noticed oddities, such as a set of false teeth left behind by an addict, but did not grasp the severity of the situation.
His father, AA Gill, understood addiction from personal experience and maintained an open-door policy for his son, believing that sobriety could not be forced. Alasdair Gill was at a low point in his life when his father was dying of cancer in 2016. He stayed by his father's bedside in Charing Cross Hospital, even leaving briefly to meet his drug dealer and to attend his father's online AA meeting. His father's last request was for Alasdair to "watch over him" as he slept.
Following his father's death, Gill continued to struggle with addiction for another four years. He described relapses, including an incident where ketamine intended for personal use was mistakenly mixed into a dish served to stockbrokers. He was later found unconscious in his manager's office.
His mother, Amber Rudd, played a crucial role in his recovery, suggesting he attend a culinary school in Ireland. While this provided a temporary respite, he relapsed upon returning to London. A pivotal moment came when even his drug dealer advised him to seek help. A direct question from his mother, "Are you OK?", prompted him to finally admit his struggles.
Seeking professional help, Gill was diagnosed with the potential for addiction due to his family history and given a stark prognosis: early-stage cirrhosis and other health issues, with a warning that he would die by Christmas if he did not seek immediate help. He then entered a rehabilitation program.
During rehab, Gill read his father's memoir, "Pour Me," which he had never done before. He found parallels in his father's experiences with addiction, including hallucinations and despair, realizing their shared struggles. He felt his father's guidance from beyond the grave, stating that reading the book was like reading his own story and helped him in his recovery.
Now, Gill is living a stable life. He works as a private chef, is in a relationship with actress Maja Simonsen, and has a young son, Arlo. He credits his current responsibilities with anchoring him and emphasizes that life is significantly better without drugs. He stated, "It's the difference between being in a cage and an endless horizon. You don't get rid of the cage but you're no longer confined by it. It's important to understand that because the second you don't is when you slip."