Danny Abdallah said the thing he still misses most five years after a crash that killed three of his children is the everyday noise and disorder of a busy family home — the very chaos many parents complain about.
On Feb. 1, 2020, a ute mounted the kerb on Bettington Road in the Sydney suburb of Oatlands and struck a group of children who were walking on the footpath. Abdallah's daughters Sienna, 8, and Angelina, 12, his son Antony, 13, and his niece Veronique Sakr, 11, were killed. The seven children and cousins had been walking together when the vehicle hit them from behind.
Samuel Davidson, the driver, was three times the legal alcohol limit and high on drugs when he lost control, according to court records. He was sentenced to 20 years in prison with a non-parole period of 15 years; that sentence was reduced from 28 years on appeal.
Abdallah described his grief to the Sunday Telegraph and other media as he marked Father’s Day, saying he had once wished for a house without clutter and noise and now found that perfection a painful reminder of what was lost. "After what had happened to us, the saddest day was when I walked into the house and it was perfect … there was no mess," he said. "So I tell parents, don't be upset when the house is dysfunctional and unorganised — because it becomes a home."
The Abdallahs have publicly forgone bitterness. Danny and his wife Leila established the i4give foundation in memory of their children and their niece; the foundation marks Feb. 1 each year as an "i4give day" with events aimed at promoting forgiveness and community healing. Abdallah has repeatedly said his Christian faith and his responsibility to his surviving children guided his decision to forgive the man who caused the crash.
"Anything you do in life is a choice, not a feeling," he told radio hosts in recent interviews. "Whether it's going to the gym, whether it's anything you do, and that's the same as forgiveness. It's not a feeling. It's a choice that you have to make."
In 2024 the Abdallah and Sakr families unveiled a permanent memorial at the crash site outside Oatlands Golf Club: four sandstone plinths engraved with the children's faces. The unveiling drew national political figures, including Prime Minister Anthony Albanese and former prime minister Scott Morrison, as well as New South Wales leaders.
Abdallah has also described ongoing contact with Davidson. He said the man has been visited in prison and that the two now speak on a monthly basis; a recent meeting was filmed for broadcast. Abdallah said those conversations often revolve around the well-being of his surviving children and his wife, who has since given birth to the family's eighth child.
Abdallah framed his public forgiveness as a practical decision for the welfare of his family, noting research and statistics he cited about marriage strain after the loss of a child and saying his choices had to consider his wife and remaining children. He has urged other bereaved parents to focus on sustaining family bonds.
The crash and its aftermath prompted broader discussions in Australia about drink-driving, drug impairment and road safety, and the Abdallahs have used their platform to call for community engagement and healing. The i4give foundation continues to convene events and promote restorative messages, even as the family manages private grief and the long-term effects of the loss.