A woman who identifies as a sociopath and claims diagnoses of antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) has outlined three dating tactics she uses to manipulate men.
Kanika Batra, 30, described these methods in an appearance on Chris Williamson's Modern Wisdom podcast. She stated that she possesses the ability to discern individuals' personalities and tailor her approach to control them, while acknowledging a lack of empathy herself.
"I know what people are feeling. I just will never feel it," Batra said. "And I know how to mimic an accurate response, something that they would want to see."
Batra's three-step approach aims to create emotional dependence and a desire for validation in partners.
Love Bombing
The first tactic, described by Batra as love-bombing, involves overwhelming a partner with excessive gifts, affection, and attention early in a relationship. Batra stated that this is a natural inclination for her and that the intense focus can lead to a partner becoming deeply attached and subsequently obsessive.
"They'll be like, 'Oh, okay. Why aren't you calling me more? Oh, are you seeing other people? You must be seeing other people,'" Batra explained.
Creating Distance
Her second tactic involves strategically withdrawing affection and availability to create uncertainty. Batra advised women to limit constant texting and maintain an air of mystery. She also suggested using a mildly insulting contact name for a partner in one's phone to diminish his emotional power.
"You don't know when he was online. He doesn't know when you were online. You're mysterious," Batra said.
Testing Loyalty
The third strategy involves testing a partner's willingness to inconvenience himself. Instead of direct demands, Batra recommended asking for small favors that require minor effort, such as picking up an item or meeting at a location slightly out of his way. This, she explained, allows her to gauge his loyalty through actions rather than promises.
Batra also suggested subtly hinting at competition by letting a partner know he has other options, emphasizing that this tactic should not be overly apparent.
Williamson questioned whether these tactics could foster unhealthy relationship dynamics, noting their resemblance to manipulative behaviors often condemned when used by men against women. Batra conceded that some advice could be seen as manipulative but asserted that such behavior should cease once a secure relationship is established.
"I tell them where ruthlessness should begin and where it should end. And it should definitely end when you're in a secure relationship," she stated.
ASPD is characterized by deceitfulness, impulsivity, irritability, and aggression, while NPD typically involves arrogance, entitlement, and an inflated sense of self-importance. Both are classified in the DSM-5-TR, the diagnostic manual used by mental health professionals. Batra reported being diagnosed with ASPD at age 21. She is married and described her husband as a calming influence, noting that she does not need to maintain the same facade with him.