In an era where remote work can lead to prolonged social isolation, building connections with neighbors has become a growing concern for many, particularly younger adults. While a 2025 Pew Research report indicates that about two-thirds of U.S. adults know at least some of their neighbors, these relationships are more common among older adults in suburban, home-owning environments. Millennials and Gen Z, conversely, are less likely to know those living nearby.
Several factors contribute to this trend. Car-dependent communities limit spontaneous social interactions, and low neighborhood tenure rates can prevent people from integrating long enough to form meaningful connections. The COVID-19 pandemic further accelerated a decline in community life, potentially solidifying solitary habits. Additionally, the current political climate can make initiating contact with neighbors feel daunting or even unsafe for individuals from marginalized groups.
Daniel P. Aldrich, Dean’s Professor of Resilience at Northeastern University, emphasizes that a lack of community interaction extends beyond mere isolation, posing potential dangers. "The importance of neighbors literally cannot be understood until we recognize how much of our health and our lives depend on them," Aldrich stated. He contrasts the reliance on online communities with the tangible support neighbors can provide during crises. Aldrich cited Hurricane Katrina, where communities with high social capital—where residents knew and cared for each other—demonstrated greater resilience. He noted that strong social ties were a significant predictor of good mental health for evacuees, and in his own family's experience in New Orleans, neighbors' swift actions were life-saving.
To cultivate neighborly relationships, experts suggest starting small. Licensed therapist Saba Harouni Lurie advises approaching interactions with a plan, such as aiming to say hello to a set number of people within a week or month. "That can be a way to test the idea, ‘Is this as scary as I feel that it is?’" Lurie said, adding that most people are likely to be receptive. Leigha Bone, 39, of Mesa, Arizona, adopted a strategy of consistently waving and maintaining a positive attitude, even when faced with reserved neighbors, accepting the possibility of rejection.
Building community doesn't require immediate deep friendships. Aldrich shared an anecdote about gradually getting to know an elderly neighbor, eventually receiving a key to his apartment. This proved crucial when the neighbor fell and couldn't call for help; Aldrich's timely intervention, facilitated by the neighbor's trust, led to him receiving medical attention. Persistent, warm, in-person presence can foster connections over time, as illustrated by Lurie's experience of developing a lasting friendship with a neighbor through initial hellos that evolved into longer conversations and shared time.
Utilizing personal identifiers can also help initiate conversations. Writer Julia Ries Wexler found common ground with her neighbor Nancy Blaine over their shared love for animals, which began during dog walks. This connection was further strengthened when Blaine helped Wexler feel more comfortable after an earthquake. Similarly, Heather Mayer Irvine of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, found that her young daughter's interactions with other children and dogs in the neighborhood facilitated conversations with other adults.
Lurie suggests having a conversation starter, whether it's a book, a band t-shirt, or a visible hobby, and looking for similar cues in others. Engaging in activities at neighborhood "third spaces"—locations like gyms or coffee shops—can also facilitate connections. Byron Cordero in Miami participates in his apartment complex's organized events, while Ruth Furman in Las Vegas formed friendships through water aerobics at her neighborhood pool. Geoffrey Radcliffe, also from Las Vegas, leverages the walking path near his condo, sometimes with a "walk-tail" to ease initial anxiety, by asking simple questions about passersby's families or interests.
Developing these relationships often involves mutual favors and consistent effort. "Knowing that it’s going to take time is really important," Lurie explained. "With consistent efforts to extend a hand, it becomes a bit easier, and people become more receptive, and they’re going to often want to reciprocate too, and so, things can snowball in a really positive direction." Simple acts, such as offering to pick up an item from a store for a neighbor, can foster reciprocity. Edna Angie Frank in Arizona found that bringing homemade tacos to an initially reserved elderly neighbor transformed their relationship into a close friendship, involving regular check-ins and assistance with tasks.
Ultimately, viewing neighborly connection as an investment in personal health and happiness, rather than a chore, is key. Aldrich emphasizes, "For me, there is no level of investment in neighbors that is not worth it."