Dear Abby is offering guidance to readers facing complex personal dilemmas, including a Pennsylvania woman whose intimate relationship with her husband has stalled for seven years following her recovery from a benign brain tumor.
The woman, who is over 60, explained that her husband has shown little to no interest in intimacy since her initial surgery eight years ago, despite her recovery and subsequent facial reconstructive surgeries. She noted that his health is not a contributing factor and that he denies her concern that the issue stems from her appearance. The couple, married for many years, now live as roommates, though their relationship remains otherwise compatible.
Dear Abby, a pseudonym for advice columnist Abigail Van Buren, recommended that the woman seek a certified sex therapist specializing in illness and injury. The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (aasect.org) was suggested as a resource for finding professionals, many of whom offer telepractice options. Abby encouraged the woman to try to involve her husband in therapy sessions, but advised that she could also attend alone to work on regaining confidence and managing the effects of her surgeries.
In a separate letter, a reader from Washington described a challenging friendship with an individual diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. The friend, referred to as "Sharon," exhibits a pattern of sending rudely worded "breakup" messages every few months, only to apologize and promise not to repeat the behavior. Despite blocking Sharon on various platforms after the most recent hurtful message, the friend created a new email address to contact the writer and plead for reconciliation.
The reader expressed feeling torn, understanding that Sharon's illness contributes to her actions but finding the repeated behavior deeply hurtful. She sought Abby's advice on whether to rekindle the friendship or maintain distance.
Dear Abby advised the reader to either "let sleeping dogs lie" or accept that the friendship with Sharon involves periods where she "goes off the rails." Abby suggested that if the reader can learn to take the behavior less personally, the friendship might be less draining. The column, originally founded by Pauline Phillips in 1956, has been penned by her daughter, Jeanne Phillips, for nearly four decades.