Dear Abby columnist Abigail Van Buren has conceded she mishandled a reader's query about wedding planning interference from two mothers. In a recent response, Van Buren acknowledged that her initial advice was flawed and that she should have unequivocally encouraged the couple to stand their ground.
The original letter, submitted by "Woman's wedding has been hijacked," described how the couple's wedding plans were being dictated by the bride's mother and the groom's mother, who had conflicting visions. Van Buren's initial advice, which was directed to the daughter's father, suggested a more conciliatory approach, leading to criticism from her readers.
In her updated response, Van Buren stated, "I’m truly surprised you didn’t tell the couple to stand their ground." She admitted that she should have advised the couple to assert control over their wedding, emphasizing that it is their special day. Several readers echoed this sentiment, arguing that the mothers were attempting to orchestrate the event for their own benefit and that any compromise would set a precedent for future control.
One reader, "DON’T BACK DOWN," wrote, "These mothers have no business trying to co-opt the bridal couple’s wedding. If the daughter gives in, it’s only the beginning of these two mothers trying to strong-arm themselves into trying to make future decisions for this poor couple. The couple should put their feet down and tell these mothers to back off."
Another reader, "THINK AGAIN," questioned why the bride should alter her dreams to accommodate the mothers' desires to "impress their friends and associates." The reader added, "This advice fails to help the dad help his daughter, but it also sends the message to the daughter that her wedding is not really her wedding, it is a stage production the moms are orchestrating for their advantage."
"ONCE IN A LIFETIME" suggested that the bride should be allowed to plan her dream wedding, stating, "I am assuming the bride can afford to pay for her small wedding. She can still include these mothers in something special."
Van Buren apologized for her initial indecisiveness. "My apologies to the couple for wavering and siding with those pushy moms," she wrote. "Thank you all for calling me out on this one!"
In a separate letter, a reader identified as "GRATEFUL IN WEST VIRGINIA" expressed gratitude for delivery drivers, detailing how they have been essential for obtaining food and medicine during a year-long illness. Van Buren acknowledged the vital role of these workers, noting that they serve the underserved and help keep local businesses afloat. She also expressed hope that employers compensate them fairly.