Emily Newcombe, now 32, describes her life as significantly altered by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), a condition she lived with for decades before receiving a formal diagnosis at age 30. The disorder has profoundly affected her ability to form and maintain relationships, hindered her career, and made daily tasks an arduous challenge.
Newcombe's struggles with OCD began in childhood. Her earliest memories include elaborate rituals, such as spending hours arranging her bedding to achieve a specific feel, reacting with intense distress when it was disturbed. By age 12, she developed compulsions around symmetry and straightness, often leading to lateness for school as she meticulously aligned objects in her room and classroom.
Despite these early signs, her family perceived her behavior as perfectionism, and Newcombe was able to conceal the extent of her internal struggles. In adulthood, these rituals intensified, requiring objects to be in precise positions and creating constant anxiety about colleagues noticing her compulsions. She worked for a decade as a sales administrator, all while trying to hide her condition.
Escalation and Diagnosis
The severity of her OCD escalated significantly around 2020, coinciding with her redundancy from a decade-long administrative role and a shift to freelance work in the events industry. Newcombe found herself compelled to perform elaborate rituals that interfered with basic activities. Driving to events sometimes involved repeatedly circling roundabouts due to anxiety about exiting too early. Grocery shopping became difficult, often requiring her to re-enter supermarkets until her shopping trolley felt perfectly aligned.
A major turning point occurred in 2021 following the death of her best friend's mother, an event that intensified her grief and her OCD symptoms. This period saw her trapped in repetitive behaviors for hours, including getting dressed. On particularly difficult days, she would undress and redress multiple times because something felt wrong with the initial attempt.
Her personal relationships have been severely impacted. Newcombe has had only one serious relationship, which ended when she was 21. She attempted to use dating apps five years prior to seeking treatment, but gave up after her compulsions prevented first dates from leading to second encounters. She believed her condition would be a barrier to romantic relationships, fearing that "no one will ever love me."
By two years ago, her condition had deteriorated to the point where she could no longer work. This prompted her to seek medical help, leading to her formal diagnosis of OCD at age 30. Doctors at Kendray Hospital in Barnsley, South Yorkshire, where she was admitted for four months in September 2024, described her case as one of the most severe they had encountered.
Daily Impact and Future Hopes
Newcombe describes her "phone ritual" as one of the most challenging aspects of her condition. This involves standing in a single spot for up to nine hours while researching information online. If her concentration is broken by an external stimulus, such as a phone call or a slight movement, she must restart the entire process. Prolonged standing has led to swelling in her legs and feet, requiring medication for fluid retention. She has also experienced significant weight gain due to mood-stabilizing medication, which has not been fully effective, and increased appetite.
These challenges have rendered her largely reclusive, despite the supportive nature of her family. She expresses concern about the possibility of passing on the condition to her children and how her rituals might affect a child's life.
While treatments like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), medication, and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) have been attempted, Newcombe states that nothing has worked for her. She has found some solace in online support groups and the charity OCD Action, connecting with others facing similar struggles. She currently receives weekly therapy, but hopes to secure funding for a residential unit that offers intensive therapy specifically designed for severe OCD patients. Newcombe, who has lost considerable time to her illness, hopes to eventually achieve a level of well-being that allows her to build the future she has always desired.