For many women, the challenges of motherhood can exacerbate undiagnosed Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) symptoms, leading to feelings of failure and overwhelming distress. Liz Lewis recounts her personal experience of being diagnosed with ADHD at age 33, after struggling with what she perceived as an inability to cope with the demands of early motherhood.
Lewis describes a pivotal moment when she felt completely overwhelmed by her infant son's needs, leading her to seek professional help. "I had nothing left in the tank to try to calm him," she wrote. This breakdown prompted her to contact a psychiatrist, ultimately resulting in her ADHD diagnosis. She highlights that while much attention is given to parenting children with ADHD, significantly less is discussed about mothers who have the condition themselves.
ADHD in women often manifests as disorganization, difficulty focusing, time blindness, emotional dysregulation, and mental fatigue. Unlike the more commonly depicted hyperactive presentation in men, women with ADHD may also exhibit a tendency to hyperfocus on specific tasks, sometimes to the detriment of other responsibilities. These characteristics can conflict with societal expectations of mothers as calm, organized, and capable multitaskers.
A Danish study published in the Journal of Attention Disorders found that ADHD diagnoses among mothers increased postpartum, peaking between two and five years after childbirth. This suggests that the societal pressures and increased demands of motherhood can lead to the "mask" worn by undiagnosed women with ADHD to slip. Conversely, the study also noted a significant reduction in ADHD diagnoses during pregnancy, potentially linked to hormonal changes.
Hormonal Influences and ADHD
Research suggests a connection between ADHD symptoms in women and fluctuations in estrogen and dopamine levels. Estrogen can indirectly regulate dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with reward-seeking behavior and focus. During pregnancy, when estrogen levels are significantly elevated, some women report a taming of their ADHD symptoms. However, after childbirth, estrogen levels plummet, which can lead to a resurgence of symptoms, often coinciding with the period of greatest maternal stress.
Lewis experienced this hormonal shift firsthand. She noted that during her pregnancy, higher estrogen levels seemed to alleviate some of her ADHD symptoms, bringing a sense of mental clarity. However, pregnancy also heightened her sensory awareness, a trait associated with ADHD, making medical procedures and examinations more stressful. The experience of an emergency C-section and subsequent panic attack further intensified her anxiety.
The Postpartum Shift and Support
The transition to new motherhood is a profound change, and for women with ADHD, this shift can be particularly overwhelming. This is compounded by the drastic drop in estrogen levels after birth, which impacts dopamine regulation. While motherhood can act as a strong stimulus for action due to the constant demands of infant care, the neurodiverse mind often struggles with significant transitions. Lewis points out that mothers with ADHD are five times more likely to experience postpartum depression, and many also suffer from intense anxiety.
Remembering practical details like school kits, permission slips, and parent-teacher meetings can be a persistent challenge for mothers with ADHD. Lewis shares that even as her son approaches adolescence, she has occasionally forgotten critical dates, leading to him being locked out of the house. Many mothers she counsels describe a pervasive sense of failing to meet societal expectations of motherhood.
Lewis emphasizes that the pressure to "do it all" is unhelpful, especially for mothers with ADHD who require support to manage their responsibilities. Her book, "You are Not the Problem: Late Diagnosed ADHD women and the Invisible Forces that Shape Us," explores these experiences further.