A woman has shared her account of being ghosted by her partner after informing him of her pregnancy, detailing his initial rejection and subsequent sporadic attempts to re-engage.
Lucy Holden, 36, described her experience after discovering she was pregnant on Valentine's Day. Her partner, Shiv, who worked in the travel industry, was preparing for a ten-month contract abroad. Holden stated that when she informed him via WhatsApp, he replied, “I don’t think I should come round,” and advised her to “go home and be with my parents.” He then reportedly blocked her on Instagram, Facebook, and his phone.
Holden, who had moved from Bath to Glasgow four years prior, described her relationship with Shiv as complex. While they had been "friends with benefits" for some time, Shiv, who was in his 50s and had never married or had children, had consistently avoided defining their relationship. Despite his refusal to label their connection, Holden felt they shared a deep intimacy, with daily communication, inside jokes, and shared personal details. He had previously expressed that he was not keen on having children, despite Holden's earlier indication that she likely wanted them.
During the initial three months of her pregnancy, Holden received only one message from Shiv, which read, “Get an abortion. I don’t want any of this.” She stated that this led her to seriously consider her own thoughts on abortion, ultimately deciding she could not terminate the pregnancy. The isolation and rejection led to significant distress, with Holden reporting that an antenatal nurse inquired if she was suicidal due to her solitary status and emotional state.
After two months of no contact, Shiv reportedly unblocked her phone. Holden sent a text saying, “I need you, please Shiv,” and expressed her doubt about being able to continue alone. He eventually agreed to talk upon his return from his work trip. Their first meeting was described as difficult, with Holden experiencing a panic attack and Shiv appearing detached. He reportedly stated, “This is your choice, this is what you wanted,” implying no shared responsibility.
Following this meeting, Holden discovered during her 20-week scan that she was expecting a girl. She informed Shiv via email, after which he unblocked her phone again. He later agreed to attend a hospital appointment, a 'wellness check' where he saw the baby on screen for the first time, and asked questions. He also provided a belated birthday gift.
As of six months into her pregnancy, Holden reported that they were in a more stable, albeit undefined, phase. They had dinner at her place, and communicated daily during his recent six-week trip. While they did not plan to live together, Holden expressed hope that her daughter, whom she plans to name Kit, would come to know her father. She stated that while she had received an apology, it was unclear what it specifically addressed. She believes that the arrival of their daughter might help Shiv overcome his commitment phobia.
Her mother has booked five weeks off work to serve as her birth partner and assist with care following a potential caesarean section. Holden's mother expressed joy at the prospect of becoming a grandmother, a sentiment that has made Holden feel special during her pregnancy.