Anna Heyward believed adopting an Italian Greyhound named Freddie would signify the completion of her adult life, ticking boxes for a partner, a job, and a sense of purpose. However, her experience, detailed in the book "Living With Freddie," quickly revealed that owning a dog, especially one with behavioral issues, is rarely straightforward.
Despite the dog rescue center's vague mention of behavioral problems, Heyward, who had grown up with dogs, was initially confident she could manage. Italian Greyhounds, bred to be closely bonded with humans, are known to suffer from severe separation anxiety. Freddie was no exception; his distress when left alone manifested in screaming, frantic circling, and desperate attempts to escape the apartment.
This intense separation anxiety significantly impacted Heyward's life. The longest she could leave Freddie unattended without severe distress was a mere two and a half minutes, even with professional training. Her partner, Aaron, sometimes stayed home with the dog, while other times Freddie accompanied Heyward to the art gallery where she worked. More expensive options like doggie daycare offered little solace, with Freddie remaining miserable until pickup.
Heyward came to realize that Freddie's deep-seated anxieties were beyond her complete control, describing it as if "the inside of him would always be a little bit out of my reach." The strain extended to her personal relationships. Her social life dwindled, and Aaron grew resentful of the intense focus on and financial expenditure on the dog. He eventually left, stating he would only return if the dog was gone.
Contrary to what the book's subtitle, "how a dog taught me to be human," might suggest, Heyward's account is not a simple feel-good story. The book adopts a more somber tone, with parts being described as upsetting. Her journey with Freddie inspired her to pursue a degree in animal behavior. Her subsequent insights into how dogs are often confused by human training methods, and how little effort is made to understand their perspective, instead labeling them as disobedient or dangerous, offers a challenging perspective for pet owners.
Heyward's experience ultimately led her to a profound understanding shared by many animal owners: that "heartbreak is a thing that's almost always part of living with an animal."