Caroline West-Meads, the Agony Aunt for You Magazine, weighed in on two reader questions in her September 19, 2025 column. The first asks how to handle a partner who stares at other women when out together; the second concerns a husband who has recently avoided intimacy after reporting painful erections and a noticeable change in his penis.
On the first issue, the writer notes that her partner calls staring a natural reflex that many people share when they see someone attractive, even in a committed relationship. The aunt agrees that it is human to notice attractiveness, but says staring can cross a line and hurt a partner when it is frequent and dismissive of her feelings. She emphasizes that a partner who truly cares should respond with reassurance rather than indifference. The aunt also points out that insecurity can appear in both partners and may reflect broader relationship dynamics; she suggests the reader consider whether the pattern is a signal to reassess compatibility. She recommends talking through the issue with a counselor or therapist to unpack underlying emotions, and she notes that resources such as relate.org.uk or The Mix can help younger readers.
Regarding the second issue, the columnist describes a husband who disclosed that his last few erections have been painful and that he notices a curvature upward when erect. He had been afraid to speak up, and his partner worried about losing their closeness. The advice centers on reducing stigma around male sexual health and ensuring medical evaluation. The aunt explains that while aging can bring changes in sexual function, persistent pain during erections and a noticeable curvature may indicate Peyronie’s disease or other health factors such as diabetes or high cholesterol. She urges a doctor’s visit as the first step toward diagnosis and treatment, stressing that addressing the health issue is essential to preserving intimacy and the couple’s emotional connection. She encourages the partner to be supportive and to frame the medical visit as a mutual effort to protect health and the bond between them.
Taken together, the column underscores a practical, non-judgmental approach to relationship challenges: communicate openly, seek professional guidance when needed, and acknowledge that some health issues require medical care rather than stigma. The column’s tone remains empathetic while anchoring guidance in medical realities and mental health support. The You Magazine feature continues to spark conversations about how couples navigate attraction, trust, and health in the modern era, offering readers a roadmap to healthier relationships through counseling, honest dialogue, and timely medical consultation.