Lauren Goodger broke down in tears while discussing the third anniversary of the death of her baby daughter Lorena in recent scenes of the ITVBe reality series The Only Way Is Essex.
Goodger, 38, gave birth to her second daughter in July 2022; the baby died minutes after birth after the umbilical cord was found wrapped around her neck. In the episode, the star told co-stars that the date was especially painful this year because her older daughter, Larose, has a birthday two weeks later and "she should be here."
The scenes show Goodger joining fellow cast members Junaid Ahmed, Saffron Lempriere, Amy Childs, Freddie Bentley and Livvy Jay for a picnic in a park, where she opened up about carrying the pain privately and the decision to be more public about her grief. "Obviously it's a really hard day for me," she said on camera. "Obviously three years ago I lost Lorena in labour. She should be here and I think it's harder because it's Larose's birthday in two weeks."
Her castmates offered comfort. Saffron Lempriere observed the emotional highs and lows of the period, and Freddie Bentley described the situation as "so cruel." Amy Childs told Goodger she could call her at any hour for support, while Junaid Ahmed called attention to the strength Goodger has shown and urged her to remember the support of friends and family.
Goodger said the decision to speak about Lorena on the show was deliberate. She said she had spent the previous anniversary mostly at home with Larose and wanted to get out and talk rather than remaining isolated. "Last year I stayed in with Larose in the garden and now I have to get out and talk about her rather than hiding," she told the group.
The scenes follow a social-media incident last year in which Goodger publicly criticised people who she said had not reached out on the second anniversary of Lorena's death. In a post that was later deleted, she wrote that those who had not sent a message or made contact were "a disgrace" for showing "no respect for Lorena at all or myself or Larose." She said some of those people were family and friends and added that she would only tolerate them for Larose's sake.
Goodger and Larose have marked the anniversaries privately as well. On the second anniversary they were shown celebrating with a birthday cake and releasing a balloon beside a plaque inscribed with the words "always in our hearts." The area was decorated with a white rose, a lit pink candle, a birthday card addressed to Lorena and a picture frame. Goodger posted a video of the observance and described Larose as "my rock," saying she could not have got through the day without her.
The television scenes and Goodger's comments offer a window into the ongoing process of bereavement for parents who have lost a child, and the complicated mix of public and private memorials that can follow such a loss.
If this story raises issues for readers, help is available. UK callers can contact the Child Bereavement UK helpline at 0800 02 888 40 or The Lullaby Trust at 0808 802 6868.