Sex educators and therapists are highlighting the "Kivin method," also known as the sideways approach, as a technique that can potentially elevate the experience of oral sex.
This method involves the giver positioning themselves across the receiver's body rather than facing them directly. Typically, the receiver will raise one or both legs, often resting them on the giver's shoulders, to facilitate better access. The focus of the Kivin method is to stimulate the clitoris, vulva, and perineum from a side angle, using the tongue to create broader and potentially more intense sensations.
According to sexologists and therapists, this sideways position naturally alters the type of stimulation. Sadie Allison, a sexologist and author, noted that the Kivin method may also be more comfortable for the giver, particularly for their neck, as it avoids awkward craning. This increased comfort can allow for longer durations of stimulation, benefiting the receiver.
"Your hands are free in a different way, so you can easily touch breasts, stomach, thighs, and hips from a new angle, creating a fuller experience," Allison said. "Internal stimulation can be easier to incorporate. With this new position, it can be easier to provide vaginal, G-spot, or even anal play at the same time."
The position also allows for greater physical interaction between partners. The giver's body is more accessible to the receiver, enabling them to engage in caressing and touching, which can foster a more intimate connection.
While the exact origins of the name "Kivin" are unclear, the technique has been discussed by sex educators online and was mentioned in "The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Tantric Sex" in 2001. Sex therapists emphasize that open communication about what feels good is crucial, as individual responses to any technique can vary.
To get started with the Kivin method, practitioners suggest incorporating elements like stretching beforehand to ensure comfort and flexibility, similar to preparing for other physical activities. Some variations on the position include the receiver lying on their side with their top leg bent, or using a pillow under the hips while the receiver is on their back to create an optimal angle for the giver.
Communication throughout the act is key. "When we slow down and make connections like this, it suddenly can make more sense, and lead to more opportunities for pleasure," said psychotherapist and sex therapist Greg Kilpatrick. This aligns with the idea that what one partner expects to be pleasurable might not be, and vice versa, making exploration and dialogue essential.
Allison also suggests a technique called "The Velvet Glide" within the Kivin method, which involves creating a soft seal with the lips over the entire vulva and applying gentle, steady suction while gliding side-to-side along its length. This aims for consistent coverage and can stimulate more areas beyond just the clitoris, potentially enhancing sensation throughout the inner labia.