Rosie O’Donnell said she still thinks about the “painful” end of a three-decade friendship with Ellen DeGeneres, revisiting the moment she says DeGeneres publicly disavowed knowing her.
On Monday’s episode of the No Filter with Kate Langbroek podcast, O’Donnell, 63, described the aftermath of an appearance DeGeneres made on Larry King Live in 2004 during which, O’Donnell recalled, King asked what happened to her and DeGeneres replied, “I don’t know Rosie. We’re not friends.” O’Donnell called that response “one of the most painful things that ever happened to me in show business and my life.”
O’Donnell said she had stood by DeGeneres early in her career, including when DeGeneres came out as gay on O’Donnell’s talk show, which ran from 1996 to 2002; O’Donnell has said she “had to stand by her and hold her hand.” She said she has photographs of DeGeneres holding her newborn children and that the two had known each other for roughly 30 years. O’Donnell accused DeGeneres of not appreciating that support and of failing to apologize or explain the remark.
O’Donnell told host Kate Langbroek she was surprised that DeGeneres did not invite her to appear on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, which aired from 2003 to 2022, until 2009. She added that she believed the way DeGeneres treated her reflected a broader pattern, saying she felt “very betrayed” in light of later allegations that DeGeneres’ program fostered a hostile workplace environment.
In recounting the 2004 exchange, O’Donnell said she could not understand why DeGeneres would deny the friendship and that the comment “was very painful, and we’ve never gotten over it.” She said DeGeneres has at times contacted her and asked why she continues to discuss the episode, but O’Donnell said she does not bring it up for pleasure. “I rehash it because our careers have taken parallel interwoven paths — we’re gay talk show hosts, and we’re around the same age — so people would always ask me about it,” she told Langbroek.
O’Donnell said that if roles were reversed she would have apologized to DeGeneres for any hurt and asked for forgiveness. “I would’ve apologized. I would’ve said, ‘I’m really sorry I hurt you that much. And I don’t know why I did that, and it was a mistake. And I hope you can forgive me,’” she said.
The episode echoes remarks O’Donnell made in 2022 on Watch What Happens Live and to The Hollywood Reporter, when she said DeGeneres later texted her: “I’m really sorry, and I don’t remember that.” O’Donnell said the text did not erase the hurt caused by the public disavowal years earlier.
O’Donnell said she does not wish DeGeneres ill will but that she has been unable to move beyond the rupture. The conversation on the podcast is the latest public account from O’Donnell about a long-running, unresolved rift between two prominent figures whose careers and personal histories have frequently been discussed in tandem.