Olivia Bowen, known for her appearance on the reality show 'Love Island,' has shared intimate details of her personal life in her new autobiography, "Lost Until Love." The book chronicles her experiences with devastating pregnancy loss, a traumatic childbirth, and a history of mental health challenges.
Bowen recounts the emotional toll of Vanishing Twin Syndrome, a complication where one twin dies during pregnancy and is reabsorbed by the mother's body. She described the conflicting emotions during pregnancy scans, experiencing joy at seeing one growing baby while simultaneously grieving the loss of the other. In her case, the second twin remained visible on scans until around 16 weeks, a period marked by both excitement and sorrow. Bowen chose not to name the twin, a decision she believes made the loss more manageable, though she considers the lost twin to have been a girl. She adopted the concept of the baby being "absorbed back into you" as a way to cope.
The former reality star also detailed a near-fatal experience during the birth of her daughter Siena, who was born in August. Bowen suffered a hemorrhage after delivery, losing a significant amount of blood and requiring emergency transfusions. She described the terrifying moments of losing consciousness while holding her newborn, and her fear of dying and leaving her family behind. This experience led her husband, Alex Bowen, to undergo a vasectomy.
Bowen's autobiography also delves into her struggles with anxiety, depression, disordered eating, and self-harm. She reveals that even before her rise to fame on 'Love Island,' she grappled with social anxiety, heavy drinking, and a history of self-harm, which she used as a coping mechanism during stressful periods. She admitted to self-harming even after leaving the reality show and, more recently, after the birth of her son, when she and her husband were experiencing difficulties connecting.
Despite these challenges, Bowen views her time on 'Love Island' as a turning point. She described the show's intense environment as a form of "exposure therapy" that forced her to confront her insecurities, including her fear of eating in front of others. Meeting her husband on the show also helped her feel loved and accepted.
Bowen now emphasizes the importance of discussing these difficult topics to overcome the shame associated with them, advocating for therapy and other coping strategies. She and her husband have since purchased a villa in Spain, a dream she could not have imagined before her experiences.
The book, "Lost Until Love," also offers advice to her fans, framed as guidance from an older sister navigating life's complexities. Bowen has expressed hope that her openness will help others realize that there are ways to manage mental health struggles, even when they feel overwhelming.