Nicole Kidman has shared that she experienced intense loneliness following her Best Actress Oscar win in 2003 for her performance as Virginia Woolf in "The Hours." The 59-year-old actress described the moment as a profound realization that she needed to build a more fulfilling personal life.
During an appearance on Jake Shane's podcast "Therapuss," Kidman recounted the conflicting emotions of achieving a major career milestone while feeling a deep sense of isolation. "I had the pinnacle of my success, and I went home and was so lonely," she admitted. The win came less than two years after her divorce from Tom Cruise, to whom she was married from 1990 to 2001. She expressed a desire for a partner to share the triumph with, stating, "I was like, 'Where's my partner? Where's someone that I can share this with, where you can jump on the bed?'"
At 35 years old at the time of her win, Kidman reflected on her feelings that night. "I'd love to be able to just, you know, be wrapped in somebody's arms right now. I'd love to be around now, something that feels really, 'Oh, OK. This is my real life,'" she said. She recalled struggling with her personal life even as her professional achievements soared.
Kidman, who married country singer Keith Urban in 2006, acknowledged that the experience of winning the Oscar highlighted a personal void. She explained that she is not a frequent partygoer and initially considered skipping the Vanity Fair afterparty. However, she was urged to attend and carry her award. "I said, 'That just feels like gloating, and it doesn't feel humble.' Like, what? You can't walk through carrying the award! That feels really inappropriate," she recalled.
Despite attending the party briefly, Kidman did not enjoy the experience, describing herself as "completely overwhelmed, emotional, shaking." She expressed regret for not being able to savor the moment more fully, admitting, "I wish I could have enjoyed it more."