Lulu, the British singer who rose to fame as a teenager with her 1964 hit "Shout," says she was "afraid of sex" while growing up in the 1960s and has detailed those fears and her battle with alcoholism in an extract from her forthcoming memoir.
The 76-year-old artist's If Only You Knew is due Sept. 25 from Hodder & Stoughton and coincides with a tour scheduled to begin at the end of the month. In the excerpt published ahead of the book's release, Lulu recounts feeling "very self-conscious" about sex and deliberately delaying intimacy while chasing professional success.
Lulu wrote that sex "felt like a black hole pulling every-one around me in while I floated around in deep space watching them get swallowed up," and that conversations about human biology and intimacy were largely absent from her upbringing. She said her mother had made the topic seem "almost shameful," which contributed to her reluctance to pursue sexual relationships beyond kisses. "I wanted love, I wanted romance. I was just scared of the reality, so I spent my time wrapped up in fantasy, in love with the idea of love," she wrote.
She describes being protected by her first manager, Marian, and using friendships with musicians' wives and girlfriends to signal disinterest and avoid risky situations. Lulu recounts early teenage romances — naming Alex Bell of the Luvvers and a brief attraction to Peter Noone of Herman's Hermits — but said neither relationship progressed because she "hadn't a clue" about sex. She also relates a crush on Eric Clapton and an evening she hosted in hopes of seeing him, which ended with them talking outside while she "tried to act cool."
Separately, Lulu has spoken publicly about alcoholism for the first time, telling The Times that she is now in recovery. She said she had been a "secret drinker" for years, that she feared becoming like her father and that she chose to remain private until she could understand and name her problem. "For me, it had been controllable until I got into my sixties," she said, describing how menopause, the deaths of her parents and an empty nest increased her reliance on alcohol.
Lulu said she ultimately entered rehab after enduring what she described as "dark" moments and longstanding shame. She ties her addiction to family patterns of behavior, recalling violent episodes between her parents, including an incident in which her father was "dragged away" by police. "It's a family illness," she wrote. "The gene is there."
The memoir also traces her personal life: she married Maurice Gibb in 1969 and divorced in 1973, later marrying hairdresser John Frieda in 1977 and divorcing in 1991. Her son, Jordan Frieda, is now an adult, and Lulu said his leaving home contributed to her sense of loneliness that deepened her drinking. She said she has learned from other people's memoirs and self-help books and hopes her account may help others.
If Only You Knew is published by Hodder & Stoughton at £25. Lulu, who lives in central London with her cockapoo, will tour beginning at the end of September; ticket information is available on her official website.
The memoir's candid recounting of sexual reticence, childhood trauma and addiction joins a growing number of entertainers who have used personal narratives to discuss mental health and recovery. Lulu's extract places those revelations alongside recollections of the 1960s music scene that launched her career and the protective measures she said she took while navigating sudden fame as a teenager.