A short video of a 22-year-old man teaching his parents how to use iMessage’s emphasis feature has gone viral and prompted a spirited online debate over when the two-exclamation-point reaction is appropriate. The clip, posted by Jason Saperstone of New York City, lays out three specific scenarios in which he says the emphasis should be used and criticizes his parents for applying it too broadly.
In the presentation, Saperstone tells his mother, Nancy, and father, Pete, that emphasis should be reserved for occasions when "you agree with what they are saying," when "you are in the same situation as someone," or when "someone is ignoring your message and you want attention." He cited an example in which Nancy added emphasis to a message that read, "I'm at a bar with Alex Cooper," and questioned whether her reaction implied she was also at the bar.
Saperstone’s video shows him walking his parents through slides that recommend using a simple thumbs-up response in cases where emphasis is not warranted. He closes the presentation with a slide that reads: "Next time you're about to emphasize a text message, stop and ask yourself, 1) Do I agree with what they are saying? 2) Am I in the same situation as them? 3) Are they ignoring me and do I want attention? If none apply, a simple thumbs up will suffice, I promise."
The clip triggered thousands of comments from viewers who disagreed about the meaning and tone of the emphasis reaction. Some agreed with Saperstone’s narrower usage, while others said a replaced exclamation-style emphasis can convey excitement, surprise or sympathy. Actress Reese Witherspoon weighed in, writing in a comment that she had been doing it "incorrectly for a WHILE," a remark that drew attention to how ingrained and varied the feature’s use has become across age groups.
Other commenters described using the emphasis as an "omg" response or as shorthand for astonishment or enthusiasm. Some defended Saperstone’s rules as a generational attempt to codify digital shorthand, while others said that personal intent and context change the interpretation of the feature. One viewer wrote that taking "communication advice from Gen Z is like taking financial advice from boomers," while another said they were learning something new about how younger users have adapted messaging functions.
Saperstone discussed the exchange on the Today show, saying his parents text with "such good intentions" but do not always understand app features. "Gen Z has made it tricky for them," he told the program. "We’ve basically created our own language that only we fully understand." He framed the presentation as a lighthearted lesson rather than a condemnation of his parents’ texting habits.
Messaging platforms have long developed informal norms that vary by age, social group and platform. iMessage’s press-and-hold reaction menu includes a range of quick responses — thumbs-up, heart, question mark and two exclamation points among them — and users apply those reactions with differing tones and expectations. As Saperstone’s video shows, those differences can prompt both instructional intent and heated debate when generations collide over everyday digital etiquette.
The exchange underscores how small interface features can carry social meaning and how rapidly evolving digital habits can lead to disagreements about tone and intent. Whether the conversation produces a new, widely accepted rule for emphasis or simply highlights divergent practices may depend on how users across generations continue to communicate with those reactions.