Dear Abby advised a reader who worried about whether to tell a woman at his gym that her leggings were semi‑transparent to keep quiet and, if concerned about policy, consult gym management instead.
The reader, signing as “LOOKING THE OTHER WAY,” told the columnist that a woman often chooses the front row of treadmills and ellipticals and wears tight leggings stretched so thin across her buttocks that the fabric is semi‑transparent. The reader said he typically averts his eyes and asked whether people generally prefer a gentle warning in such situations.
Columnist Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, replied that it would be better to continue to look away rather than address the woman. She noted that a reader uncertain about a facility’s dress code should raise the question with the gym manager rather than confront another patron.
In the same syndicated column published Sept. 17, 2025, Van Buren also answered a second reader in his early 30s who is transitioning into a career that requires more social interaction. The reader, who signed “GEARING UP IN WASHINGTON, D.C.,” said he feels shy in conversations, struggles with pauses and wanted practical guidance for workplace networking and social outings.
Van Buren recommended practicing social skills and offered the reader a copy of her booklet "How to Be Popular." She summarized basic techniques that can help those who do not find conversation natural: be friendly, smile to put others at ease, be kind and honest, listen well and show interest in others’ interests while avoiding sensitive topics in business contexts. She urged practice, suggesting that the reader say hello to six people a day outside the work environment and to cultivate personal interests to have subjects to discuss.
The columnist said the booklet remains in print and provided ordering instructions: send a name and address plus a check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 446, Kings Mills, OH 45034‑0446; she said shipping and handling are included. She also advised readers not to view social skill development as innate for some and impossible for others, but as a skill that can be polished with repetition and reference material.
Dear Abby is a long‑running advice column founded by Pauline Phillips and written by her daughter Jeanne Phillips under the pen name Abigail Van Buren. The column is syndicated widely; in this installment Van Buren addressed both the wardrobe question and the careerist’s need for conversational tools, offering a reminder that discretion and preparation are her preferred remedies for these common social dilemmas.
Readers who wish to contact Dear Abby can do so via the column’s website or by mail to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069, as noted in the column.