Dame Sheila Hancock, 92, says she still talks to her late husband, Inspector Morse actor John Thaw, when she feels lonely, describing the emptiness left by his death as a "gaping loss." Hancock set out the remarks in an essay for Prospect magazine, saying friends and family provide comfort but "eventually go home."
"I am left with the gaping loss of the person who has left forever, with whom I could be totally honest and myself, warts and all. Who is there now to wipe my tears and make me laugh?" she wrote, adding that she speaks aloud to Thaw "especially when I watch the news on Channel 4, but our imagined rant about politicians and human idiocy has grown fainter over the years."
Hancock told Prospect that loneliness is "terribly difficult to deal with," and recalled waking overwhelmed by depression at the thought of a solitary day. "The easiest thing is to turn over and stay in bed, but an effort must be made when one least feels like it, to get up and be active, or one descends even deeper into the Slough of Despond," she wrote.
She described small social encounters as important, noting a growing line at her local supermarket for the solitary human cashier instead of self-checkouts. "I suspect some people are lining up just for the opportunity to chat to someone for a few minutes," she said. Hancock also said she had considered getting a cat for company but resisted because she worried an animal might "outlive" her.
Hancock was married to Thaw for 28 years. Thaw, best known for his role as Inspector Morse, died in 2002 at age 60 after being diagnosed with oesophageal cancer. Hancock and Thaw each brought daughters from previous relationships, Abigail and Melanie, and they had one daughter together, Joanna, born in 1974.
Hancock's career has spanned seven decades, with roles in films and stage productions including Carry On Cleo, The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas and the film Edie. She was appointed a Dame Commander of the Order of the British Empire in 2021.
In the Prospect piece Hancock also revisited the strains of her marriage, saying Thaw suffered from depression and alcoholism, which at times made their relationship "tempestuous." She has previously called their love "obsessive," saying that with Thaw "when he was wonderful he was absolutely wonderful, and when he was vile he was vile."
Her essay frames personal reflections on grief and ageing alongside observations about everyday social contact, as Hancock describes both the comfort of memory and the practical challenges of living alone in later life.