Columnist Jana Hocking has highlighted a perceived double standard in how women discuss and judge men, particularly concerning physical attributes like height, hair loss, and penis size. The observation stems from a conversation with a recently divorced friend whose enthusiastic discussions about a new lover's penis size in comparison to her ex-husband's prompted Hocking to reflect on her own past judgments.
Hocking recounts an instance where she and a friend engaged in “stalking” an ex-partner on Instagram, noting with satisfaction his receding hairline and developing “pot belly.” This initial smugness, however, quickly turned to guilt as she realized she would be offended if a man did the same to her. This personal reflection led her to consider broader societal trends.
She points to the common practice of women specifying height requirements on dating profiles and the casual acceptance of terms like “short king,” without considering it as a form of body-shaming. Hocking notes the irony that while men can alter their appearance through fitness and fashion, they cannot change their natural height, yet height is often a criterion for dating.
Similarly, Hocking addresses the societal attitude towards male balding. She observes that while hair loss in women is treated with sensitivity, a man’s receding hairline is often used as a punchline or seen as a sign of inadequacy. She contrasts this with the hypothetical reaction if men were to discuss women’s physical attributes with similar scrutiny.
The columnist also touches upon the discourse surrounding penis size, noting how a man's genital size is sometimes linked to his masculinity. She questions the progressive nature of language like “small dick energy,” arguing that the insult itself reinforces the idea that a smaller penis equates to inadequacy. Hocking suggests that if men engaged in such forensic evaluations of women's bodies, the reaction would be one of outrage.
Hocking concludes by acknowledging that while attraction is not always equitable, the casual criticism and judgment of men's physical characteristics by women reveal a significant double standard. She admits to still being attracted to certain physical traits but resolves to be more mindful of the way she, and society at large, scrutinizes men's aging and physical appearance. She recalls a past relationship where a man with perceived less desirable physical traits caused significant heartbreak, underscoring that such attributes do not predict a person's character or impact.