Danny Abdallah said he still misses the "chaos" of family life five years after a drunk driver killed three of his children and a niece in a crash on a Sydney footpath.
Abdallah and his wife, Leila, lost their daughters Sienna, 8, and Angelina, 12, and their son Antony, 13, as well as their niece, Veronique Sakr, 11, when a ute mounted the kerb and struck a group of children walking on Bettington Road in Oatlands on Feb. 1, 2020. The four were among seven siblings and cousins on the footpath when the vehicle hit them from behind.
"After what had happened to us, the saddest day was when I walked into the house and it was perfect … there was no mess," Abdallah told The Sunday Telegraph, recounting an emotional Father's Day. "I used to wish for this and when I got it, I wish I had it the other way. So I tell parents, don't be upset when the house is dysfunctional and unorganised – because it becomes a home."
Samuel Davidson, the driver, was three times over the legal alcohol limit and high on drugs when he lost control and struck the children, court records show. Davidson, 34, was sentenced to 20 years in prison with a non-parole period of 15 years; that term was reduced on appeal from an original 28-year sentence.
Abdallah and Leila have publicly forgone retribution and established the i4give foundation to honour the children and promote community engagement around forgiveness. The foundation observes an i4give day each Feb. 1 and has organised events and memorials around the anniversary of the crash.
Speaking previously on KIIS FM's The Kyle & Jackie O Show, Abdallah said his decision to forgive was informed by his Christian faith and by a desire to protect his remaining family. "At the end of the day, I've still got three other kids. I need to be a father too and I need to be a husband to my wife," he said. "Do I pour bitterness, anger and revenge, or love, compassion and forgiveness? Because whatever I give, it'll affect everyone in that circle."
The couple and members of the Sakr family unveiled a permanent memorial in 2024 at the crash site outside Oatlands Golf Club. The ceremony featured four sandstone plinths bearing the children's images and was attended by Prime Minister Anthony Albanese, former prime minister Scott Morrison, New South Wales Premier Chris Minns and former premier Dominic Perrottet.
Abdallah has said he and Davidson now speak regularly. He told media that they have monthly conversations in which Davidson asks after Abdallah's surviving children and his wife, who recently gave birth to the couple's eighth child. One such meeting was recorded by a television crew and broadcast by Seven's Spotlight in August.
"Anything you do in life is a choice, not a feeling," Abdallah said in public remarks about forgiveness. "Whether it's going to the gym, whether it's anything you do, and that's the same as forgiveness. It's not a feeling. It's a choice that you have to make."
The Oatlands crash prompted national attention to drink-driving and road safety in Australia and led to public debate about sentencing and rehabilitation. Authorities said the vehicle mounted the kerb after the driver lost control; investigations and court proceedings established that alcohol and drugs were factors in the collision.
Abdallah has repeatedly urged other families to value ordinary domestic life and to cherish small, messy moments with children. He and Leila continue to run i4give, describing the foundation as a way to channel grief into community outreach and to keep the memories of Sienna, Angelina, Antony and Veronique alive.
Court documents indicate Davidson remains in custody under the terms of his sentence. The Abdallahs' public work on forgiveness and their memorials have attracted wide public attention and visits from political leaders and community groups since the crash.
Five years after the collision, Abdallah said the absence of everyday domestic disorder remains the most poignant reminder of his loss, and he has used that sentiment as part of his public message about family, faith and forgiveness.