Danny Abdallah said the thing he misses most after a 2020 crash in Sydney that killed three of his children is the messy, hectic family life he once found exasperating — a silence he now finds heartbreaking.
Abdallah and his wife, Leila, lost their daughters Sienna, 8, and Angelina, 12, their son Antony, 13, and their niece Veronique Sakr, 11, when a ute mounted the kerb on Bettington Road in Oatlands and struck a group of children walking along the footpath on Feb. 1, 2020. The driver, Samuel Davidson, was later found to be about three times over the legal alcohol limit and positive for drugs, according to court reports, and was sentenced to 20 years in prison with a non-parole period of 15 years after an appeal reduced an earlier 28-year term.
Speaking to The Sunday Telegraph on Father's Day, Abdallah said he had once wished for a quiet, perfectly tidy house, but after the crash found that silence devastating. "After what had happened to us, the saddest day was when I walked into the house and it was perfect … there was no mess," he said. "I used to wish for this and when I got it, I wish I had it the other way. So I tell parents, don't be upset when the house is dysfunctional and unorganised — because it becomes a home."
The Abdallahs have since channelled their grief into public campaigns promoting forgiveness. They founded the i4give foundation in memory of the children and host an annual i4give day on Feb. 1 to encourage community engagement around the concept. Abdallah has repeatedly said his Christian faith informed his decision to forgive Davidson and that forgiveness is a deliberate choice rather than an emotion.
"Anything you do in life is a choice, not a feeling," he told radio hosts on KIIS FM's The Kyle & Jackie O Show. "Whether it's going to the gym, whether it's anything you do, and that's the same as forgiveness. It's not a feeling. It's a choice that you have to make."
The family unveiled a permanent memorial at the crash site outside Oatlands Golf Club in 2024, a ceremony attended by Prime Minister Anthony Albanese, former prime minister Scott Morrison, New South Wales Premier Chris Minns and former premier Dominic Perrottet. Four sandstone plinths bearing images of the children were revealed at the site, where community leaders and family members gathered to mark the loss.
Abdallah has described practical reasons for his public forgiveness. He told interviewers he needed to remain a father to his surviving children and a husband to his wife, and that the family could not be defined by his personal bitterness. He has cited concerns over the risk to marriages following the loss of a child; he and his wife have said research and advisers they have spoken to suggest high rates of relationship breakdown after such tragedies.
Davidson and Abdallah have met since the conviction. Abdallah said the two men now speak monthly and that conversations typically include inquiries about the surviving children and about Leila, who has since given birth to the couple's eighth child. A meeting between the two men was filmed by Seven's Spotlight and broadcast in August.
Abdallah has said he does not seek to absolve Davidson of responsibility for the crash but wanted the public to understand the person he met in custody was not a monster. "I never thought of the character of the person. I chose to forgive him early... and focus on my family," he said. "It was just three years later when I decided to visit him. I realised this guy could have been my son, could have been my mate. You see things in a greater perspective. It's not just you've done wrong by me but what's going on? What's happened to his family? And you look at things in a different light."
The crash and its aftermath prompted national discussion in Australia about drink-driving, road safety and the long-term effects of trauma on families and communities. The Abdallahs' public campaigning has included calls for greater community engagement with victims of tragedy and programmes intended to promote forgiveness and reconciliation. Officials involved in sentencing and in public safety policy have cited the case in discussions about legal penalties for impaired driving and measures to prevent similar incidents.
Police and court records show Davidson was convicted following an investigation that established he lost control of his vehicle while impaired. He served his sentence after the reduction on appeal and remains in custody under the terms set by the court. The Abdallahs continue to balance public advocacy with private grief, marking anniversaries of the deaths and milestones for the children they have lost while caring for the siblings who survived.
In interviews, Abdallah repeatedly returned to the same practical appeal: value the everyday disorder of family life. "Don't be upset when the house is dysfunctional and unorganised — because it becomes a home," he said, adding that, for him, the ordinary congestion of toys, noise and mess now symbolizes what he lost on a single day in 2020.