Danny Abdallah said he still longs for the noisy, messy household he once had after a drunk driver ploughed into a group of children in Sydney five years ago, killing three of his children and a niece.
The crash on Feb. 1, 2020, in the suburb of Oatlands left Abdallah and his wife, Leila, grieving the deaths of their daughters Sienna, 8, and Angelina, 12, their son Antony, 13, and their niece Veronique Sakr, 11. On Father’s Day this year Abdallah told The Sunday Telegraph that the emptiness of a perfectly tidy house reminded him how much he missed the chaos of family life. "After what had happened to us, the saddest day was when I walked into the house and it was perfect … there was no mess," he said. "I used to wish for this and when I got it, I wish I had it the other way. So I tell parents, don't be upset when the house is dysfunctional and unorganised – because it becomes a home."
Danny and Leila Abdallah have publicly forgone vengeance and channelled their grief into the i4give foundation, which the couple established to promote forgiveness and reconciliation. The foundation marks Feb. 1 each year as an i4give day and aims to engage communities across Australia in what the family describes as a "shared embrace of the universal good of forgiveness." Abdallah has attributed his decision to forgive to his Christian faith and to the welfare of his surviving children and his marriage. "At the end of the day, I've still got three other kids. I need to be a father too and I need to be a husband to my wife," he told KIIS FM's Kyle and Jackie O. "Do I pour bitterness, anger and revenge, or love, compassion and forgiveness? Because whatever I give, it'll affect everyone in that circle."
The court found that the driver, Samuel Davidson, was intoxicated and under the influence of drugs when the utility vehicle mounted the kerb and struck the children who were walking along the footpath. Davidson, 34 at the time, was three times over the legal alcohol limit and high on drugs, according to court records. He was initially sentenced to 28 years in prison; an appeal reduced the term to 20 years, with a non-parole period of 15 years.
Abdallah has described meeting Davidson after the conviction and said he now speaks with him about once a month. A meeting filmed by Channel Seven's Spotlight program aired in August, in which Abdallah said he wanted the public to see the conversations and understand that Davidson was not a "monster." Abdallah said he visited Davidson after deciding that forgiveness was a conscious choice rather than a spontaneous feeling. "Anything you do in life is a choice, not a feeling," he said. "Whether it's going to the gym, whether it's anything you do, and that's the same as forgiveness. It's not a feeling. It's a choice that you have to make."
In 2024 the Abdallah and Sakr families unveiled a permanent memorial at the crash site outside Oatlands Golf Club. The ceremony included Prime Minister Anthony Albanese, former prime minister Scott Morrison, New South Wales Premier Chris Minns and former premier Dominic Perrottet. The memorial comprises four sandstone plinths bearing the children's faces; Abdallah thanked his wife at the unveiling, calling her his "pillar of strength."
The couple's public stance on forgiveness has attracted attention and occasional debate. Abdallah has said his decisions since the crash have been guided by concern for the wider family: he and Leila have continued to raise their surviving children and welcomed another child, bringing their total to eight. He has argued that choosing forgiveness was necessary to preserve marriages and family stability after such loss, referencing a statistic he quoted about post-bereavement strain on marriages.
Legal and community responses to the crash included scrutiny of road safety, drink-driving laws and support services for victims' families. Courts determined criminal responsibility in Davidson's case and imposed custodial sentences consistent with the gravity of the outcome and the offender's state at the time. The Abdallahs' i4give foundation continues outreach work designed to encourage restorative engagement and healing in communities affected by tragedy.
Five years on, Abdallah said the small, everyday signs of family life—noisy rooms, toys and untidy living spaces—are what he misses most, and he urged others to value the disorder of a busy household. His experiences since the crash have informed a public message that forgiveness can be a deliberate path chosen for the sake of those who remain.
"It's not just you've done wrong by me but what's going on? What's happened to his family?" Abdallah said of his view toward Davidson. "You see things in a greater perspective."
Authorities continue to enforce laws aimed at preventing similar tragedies, while the Abdallah family’s public work continues to spotlight forgiveness and community healing as part of their response to the Oatlands deaths.