A wellness teacher who sustained a severe back injury during a Buddhist retreat died by suicide because she could no longer endure the resulting pain, an inquest has heard. Claire Rodway, 52, a former nurse from Christchurch, Dorset, was found drowned in the River Avon on October 2, 2025, after leaving notes for friends and family stating that fibromyalgia had "destroyed my life."
Rodway had been fit and active before joining the year-long retreat at the Kagyu Samye Ling Monastery on Scotland's Holy Isle in October 2024. The retreat involved a daily ritual of 650 prostrations, a bowing motion requiring full body extension, which ultimately led to debilitating pain. She also experienced disrupted sleep patterns due to teachings that took place remotely from Nepal at 2 a.m.
After five months, Rodway left the monastery, staying on the island until early April 2025. She visited her general practitioner for back pain two weeks later. By June, her pain had become so severe that she moved in with her mother and was diagnosed with fibromyalgia on July 3. Her doctor noted she was struggling significantly with the pain, leading to prescriptions for strong painkillers and antidepressants, along with referrals to mental health and pain management services. She was on a six-week waiting list for pain management when she was reported missing and subsequently found deceased.
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In notes left prior to her death, Rodway described the constant, unbearable pain and her inability to volunteer or work, stating she had "nothing to give."
Her family raised concerns during the inquest about the retreat's alleged lack of risk assessments for participants' health. Ellen Robertson, counsel for the family, argued that the remote island location lacked medical facilities and that the nature of the retreat, which often involves vows of silence and significant environmental changes, could attract and exacerbate vulnerabilities in participants.
Senior Buddhist nun Elise Jacobsen, known as Lama Zangmo, testified that adjustments were offered to address Rodway's back pain, including modifying the prostrations to kneeling or sitting positions. However, Rodway reportedly preferred the full pose. Jacobsen noted that Rodway had completed 100,000 prostrations in five months, emphasizing that "it's not a numbers game."
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Helen Richardson, a trustee for the ROKPA Trust which ran the monastery, stated that the organization had a consistent high safety record for longer retreats, with a low percentage of participants leaving early due to physical complications over 30 years.
Assistant coroner Richard Middleton concluded Rodway's death was a suicide and stated he did not believe it was preventable. He was satisfied that the monastery had taken appropriate action when issues arose and that doctors made appropriate clinical decisions. Middleton added that he could not establish a causal link between the retreat and her death. He also noted that while factors like strenuous tasks, trauma, and disrupted sleep could potentially worsen fibromyalgia, he was unable to definitively link them as a trigger in Rodway's case. He decided not to issue a preventing future deaths report, citing the trust's post-death reviews which had improved their standards.
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