A woman has turned to the "Dear Abby" advice column for guidance as she navigates romantic feelings for two distinct men, one based in Europe and another in New York. The reader, who identifies as "Facing a Big Decision," described both men as wonderful, respectful, and caring, and stated she feels lucky to have both in her life.
She is torn between the "romantic European dreamer" who brings magic into her life but may lack follow-through and presents potential citizenship challenges. This suitor is described as fun, romantic, and spontaneous, making her feel alive and loved. However, she worries about the sustainability of this relationship once practicalities like children and real life become central.
Alternatively, she is considering a "safer future" with her "brilliant and calming stateside friend." This man is characterized as deeply empathetic, hardworking, introverted, and creative. Her concern here is that their connection is primarily platonic and that she might grow bored or weary of his intense emotions. She fears choosing the wrong partner and likes who she is with each man for different reasons.
In her response, Abby (Jeanne Phillips) acknowledged the difficulty of the situation, noting the differing potentials of each relationship. Abby advised the reader to continue seeing both men and to allow time for the decision to become clearer. The column also touched on a separate query from a high school student in South Korea concerned about whether diligent studying guarantees future happiness. Abby responded that happiness is subjective and while education can lead to better self-sufficiency, there are no guarantees of happiness.
"Dear Abby" was founded by Pauline Phillips and is now written by her daughter, Jeanne Phillips.