A woman has confessed to getting a tattoo on a drunken whim during a bachelorette party and is now struggling to keep it a secret from her boyfriend, who she claims despises tattoos.
In a letter to advice columnist Jane Green, the woman, identified only as 'Tattoo Regret,' described how she and her friends decided to get matching heart tattoos on their wrists during a night out. Upon waking the next morning, she experienced immediate regret, not due to the tattoo's appearance, but because she had forgotten her boyfriend's strong aversion to tattoos.
According to the letter, the boyfriend has frequently commented negatively on tattoos, calling them 'hideous' and a way of 'ruining' one's body. He has even stated that he would end their relationship if she were to get a tattoo.
Since returning from the trip, 'Tattoo Regret' has been attempting to conceal the heart tattoo by wearing long sleeves and stacking bracelets on her wrist. However, she expressed exhaustion from the constant effort of hiding the secret and anxiety about her boyfriend's reaction when she eventually tells him.
Jane Green advised 'Tattoo Regret' that her body and her life are her own choices, asserting that she had done nothing wrong. Green suggested that if the boyfriend were to end the relationship over this decision, it would be a 'lucky escape.' She emphasized that partners should not dictate each other's actions but rather express opinions and accept different choices.
Green shared a personal anecdote about her former husband's dislike for tattoos, recounting how she got one without telling him, which he eventually accepted. Green stated that this demonstrated his emotional maturity and recognition that he did not have dominion over her. She encouraged 'Tattoo Regret' to wear her tattoo proudly and to tell her boyfriend. Green reiterated that if he reacted poorly, she would likely be better off without him.
In a separate letter, another reader, 'Wrong Ring,' sought advice about an engagement ring that was not to her liking. She explained that after months of discussing marriage, looking at rings together, and showing her boyfriend her specific preferences, he proposed with a ring that was gold and oval-shaped, rather than the silver pear-shaped ring she desired.
While 'Wrong Ring' accepted the proposal, she now cringes when looking at the ring, feeling it does not represent her and that her boyfriend ignored her clearly expressed wishes, which she perceived as disrespectful. She is concerned about hurting his feelings by expressing her dissatisfaction.
Jane Green congratulated 'Wrong Ring' on her engagement and suggested that her fiancé likely did not intend to be disrespectful but may have been distracted or believed she would love his choice. Green framed this as a 'first big test' in marriage and advised her to tell him about her preference for a silver, pear-shaped ring, explaining that she felt a little hurt he did not recall their discussions. Green suggested they go together to exchange the ring for one she would love.