Kristy Dawkins believed she was the picture of health, meticulously tracking her nutrition and engaging in rigorous exercise. However, a symptom she had overlooked for years—the cessation of her menstrual periods—ultimately led to a stark diagnosis of osteopenia, a condition of low bone density, at age 26. This discovery triggered a profound realization of the damage her long-standing eating disorder had inflicted on her body, culminating in an emotional breakdown at a hospital.
The Onset of Disordered Eating
Growing up in a family where food was central, Dawkins described herself as a "chubby kid." By age 14 or 15, discomfort with her body led her to adopt an extreme diet of 1,200 calories a day and an intense exercise regimen, including walking to school, skipping, and using an elliptical trainer. This quickly resulted in a significant weight loss of approximately 13 kilograms. However, maintaining this new physique became an obsession, transforming exercise from a hobby into a compulsion and food into a strictly governed entity with rigid rules. She meticulously tracked her caloric intake and felt compelled to exercise daily, experiencing mood swings if a workout was missed.
This period also saw the stopping of her menstrual cycle, a symptom she initially dismissed. When she sought medical advice at 15 and again at 18, the responses were dismissive, with one doctor advising her to return when she intended to have children. Though polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) was briefly considered and a contraceptive pill prescribed, no doctor questioned her eating or exercise habits. Dawkins viewed the absence of her period as a convenience rather than a warning sign.
Clinical nutritionist and eating disorder coach Lexi Crouch explains that prolonged low energy availability, often due to under-fuelling and excessive exercise, can cause the body to down-regulate reproductive functions, leading to the cessation of ovulation and menstruation. Crouch emphasizes that losing one's period is not a sign of fitness but an indicator that something is fundamentally wrong, potentially affecting hormones, bones, immunity, mood, and recovery.
The Illusion of Health and Escalating Rigidity
Despite her internal struggles, Dawkins's outward appearance of fitness and knowledge about nutrition led others to seek her advice. She embraced this identity, studying nutrition and fitness and eventually working as a weight-loss consultant for Jenny Craig for 11 years. In this role, she advised clients on sensible eating and not letting single meals derail their progress, a stark contrast to her own internal rigidity.
Her pursuit of fitness intensified in her 20s with CrossFit. When an injury forced her to stop training, she confided that she had to give her mother her car keys to prevent herself from exercising. The sport of powerlifting offered a different focus—strength over leanness—and her coach encouraged her to eat more and relax her food rules. She began to see food items like ice cream as just food, without the need for added protein or subsequent compensatory exercise.
Dawkins excelled in powerlifting, winning a world championship and setting multiple world records. Yet, even as she achieved remarkable feats of strength, her menstrual cycle remained absent, a situation that had persisted for nearly a decade. It wasn't until her late 20s, after visiting a menopause clinic, that she was diagnosed with hypothalamic amenorrhea (HA), a condition caused by a disruption in the signals between the brain and the reproductive system due to insufficient energy availability.
The Bone Density Diagnosis and Meltdown
The menopause clinic recommended a bone density scan, a request that confused Dawkins. The results were devastating: her spine showed a reading of minus 2.4, indicating osteopenia and proximity to osteoporosis. At just 26, she was told she had severely weakened bones. This news led to a significant emotional breakdown in the hospital. Dawkins realized the extent of the damage she had unknowingly caused to her body.
Crouch notes that prolonged absence of menstruation, especially during adolescence and the 20s—critical years for building peak bone mass—can impair bone formation and repair due to persistently low estrogen levels. The contrast between Dawkins's external strength and her internal bone fragility was profound.
Recovery and Redefining Health
Faced with the need to recover her menstrual cycle and protect her bone health, Dawkins had to make significant changes. This involved gaining weight, substantially reducing her exercise, and ultimately giving up powerlifting. She lost muscle mass and felt she was losing the identity she had carefully constructed around her physical capabilities. The recovery process was described by Dawkins as a life reset.
Approximately three months into her recovery, a small amount of bleeding signaled the return of her period, which her family celebrated with a "period party." While her menstrual cycle took about two years to become regular, this was a crucial sign of her body's healing.
Now 35, Dawkins maintains a weight of approximately 53 kilograms and reports being happier than ever. She exercises moderately three to four times a week and has learned to quiet the lingering negative self-talk about food and exercise. Although her bones have shown improvement, she anticipates needing regular scans due to the potential for permanent damage. Dawkins's journey underscores that true health is not solely about appearance but about bodily function and the quality of life it enables, a perspective she now embodies by choosing well-being over the relentless pursuit of a narrowly defined ideal.