A woman who sold all her possessions and embarked on seven years of international travel to find herself after her daughter left for college has detailed how undiagnosed perimenopause significantly impacted her journey. The author, Jessica Seiders, began experiencing profound grief, exhaustion, and emotional instability in her late 30s, symptoms she initially attributed to empty nest syndrome or depression.
After her daughter, Bri, left for college in 2018, Seiders described an intense sadness and a feeling of being unmoored. Simple daily tasks became monumental efforts, and the silence of her home felt overwhelming. She consulted multiple doctors who diagnosed her with depression, stress, anxiety, or attributed her symptoms to aging. "I had no reason not to believe them," she wrote.
Five months after her daughter left, Seiders asked Bri if she would support her selling everything to travel. Bri's simple "Do it" gave Seiders the push she needed. She resigned from a 15-year corporate career, sold her belongings, and bought a one-way ticket to Spain with a backpack and suitcase.
What followed was a period of extensive solo travel, during which she visited 21 countries over seven years. She financed her travels by minimizing expenses, living out of a suitcase, staying in hostels, and couchsurfing. Despite the outward appearance of freedom, Seiders continued to grapple with unexplained emotional turmoil and fatigue. She recalled periods of intense crying in Switzerland and a week spent in a hostel room in Croatia that she called her "cave," where she confronted the loneliness and the loss of her previous identity.
The COVID-19 pandemic found Seiders in Bali, where she stayed for 15 months after borders closed. This extended period in a quiet environment allowed for introspection. Upon returning to the U.S. at age 40, she finally encountered a doctor who identified her condition.
"She told me I was deep in perimenopause," Seiders wrote. This diagnosis provided a name for the years of unexplained symptoms that had affected her life since she was 37. The doctor’s single word, she noted, was enough to begin understanding her experiences.
Seiders subsequently rebuilt her life, securing a remote position with her former employer and finding housing with other women her age. These conversations revealed how common her experiences were. The perimenopause diagnosis helped her understand the profound depression after her nest emptied, the morning exhaustion, and the emotional crises she had endured. She realized that what she had perceived as weakness was actually a hormonal transition that had gone unrecognized for years.
Her perimenopause symptoms continued to escalate, leading to unmanageable work anxiety and severe menstrual cycles that required emergency room visits. After obtaining insurance and seeing a doctor, she was prescribed hormone replacement therapy, which finally made her body feel manageable.
In February 2026, Seiders spoke at an event about her journey, identifying herself as a "Fearless Empty Nester." She has since quit her day job to finish a memoir about her experiences, titled "Fearless Empty Nester: One Woman’s Journey Beyond Motherhood and Back to Herself." She now lives on the East Coast and saw her daughter graduate from college in 2022, having delivered the commencement speech.
Reflecting on her journey, Seiders stated that she has no regrets about her choices. She emphasized the importance of naming one's experiences, noting that it took her three years to get a diagnosis for symptoms that began in her 30s and were often dismissed or mistaken for other conditions. She advocates for women to seek and receive a diagnosis sooner when experiencing similar symptoms.