Lisa Fitzpatrick, a physiotherapist from northern NSW, Australia, experienced a dramatic shift in her well-being after her engagement ended abruptly. For years, Fitzpatrick had attributed her fatigue, disturbed sleep, irritability, anxiety, and a diminished libido to perimenopause and menopause. She believed that once she navigated menopause, her symptoms would resolve and her life would return to normal.
However, her perspective changed significantly when, at age 51, her fiancé of eight years broke up with her via text message. The message stated, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." Fitzpatrick later learned that her fiancé had left her for a woman 20 years her junior. This revelation was deeply painful, compounded by the perceived advantage of her ex-fiancé's new partner's youth.
Fitzpatrick described feeling a profound grief and a significant blow to her self-worth, which she realized had been heavily tied to the relationship. She also felt that her changing body and identity as a midlife woman were contributing factors to her distress. A moment of crisis occurred months after the breakup, when, on her knees and overwhelmed by grief, she cried out for help. Unexpectedly, her smart alarm clock, equipped with Alexa, responded, "I'm sorry, I can't help with that," which, after an initial shock, led to a moment of laughter.
In the months following the breakup, Fitzpatrick observed a remarkable reversal of her previous symptoms. Her energy returned, her sleep improved, she lost weight, and her nervous system felt less strained. She described feeling like a "happy-go-lucky 20-year-old" again, a stark contrast to how she had felt previously. This transformation led her to question the origin of her past ailments.
She realized that many of the symptoms she had attributed to menopause might have actually stemmed from the strain of her long-term relationship, which she described as one she had "never even known I was in." The change in her physical and emotional state positively impacted her physiotherapy business, where she began discussing aging and challenging the notion that life is over at 40 with her patients. She found inspiration in older women who were living fulfilling lives and maintaining active sex lives well into their 60s, 70s, and beyond.
Fitzpatrick also noted the inspirational examples of her own parents, who found new partners in their late 70s and were open about their continued sexual activity. Three years after her breakup, Fitzpatrick, now 53, is in a new relationship after exploring dating apps. She found that while younger men expressed interest, she ultimately preferred to date men her own age. She is currently experiencing what she describes as "the best sex of my life" with a 56-year-old partner. Her professional focus has shifted to pelvic and sexual health physiotherapy, and she emphasizes the intelligence of women's bodies in signaling truths about their situations. Her book, "Sexy Menopause," was recently published.