Elizabeth Laing, a 49-year-old woman from London, found her now-husband within three months of enlisting the help of a flirting coach and a hypnotherapist, a significant departure from her previous experiences with dating apps.
Laing described her past relationships as "chaotic," often involving dating unsuitable partners or remaining in unsatisfying situationships. Her decision to seek professional help stemmed from observing couples around her navigate marriage, divorce, and remarriage while she remained single. She realized her approach to dating might be the issue, noting her difficulty speaking to attractive individuals and a pattern of engaging in unhealthy relationships.
To break this cycle, Laing attended a workshop led by a flirting coach. Her initial challenge was to approach and converse with three strangers at the National Gallery, an experience she found terrifying. The coach's advice included making eye contact and asking questions, along with a technique for smiling that initially resulted in "funny looks." Subsequent one-to-one sessions became more challenging, including an exercise in a supermarket where she had to approach three men in different aisles to ask about products.
Over time, these interactions became more natural, and Laing observed a positive shift in how people responded to her. She began engaging in conversations with strangers on public transport, leading some men to ask for her number. She attributed this success to her willingness to engage in real-world interactions, contrasting it with the passive approach of dating app users.
Concurrently, Laing used hypnotherapy to explore the roots of her attraction to chaotic relationships. She found that this pattern was linked to her childhood, where familiarity with chaos made it feel like a safe environment. The therapy helped her recognize these repeating patterns and understand her self-worth.
With a new perspective and a clear goal, Laing treated finding a partner as a project, aiming to meet and flirt with a new man each day for three months. She frequented pubs and bars, intentionally placing herself in situations to meet people face-to-face.
One day, after realizing she hadn't met anyone new, Laing visited a pub. While making eye contact and remaining open to conversation, a man approached her. He introduced himself as "a cheeky Australian," and Laing felt an immediate connection, identifying him as "the one." This encounter led to their first date, and within two years, they were engaged.
The success of this approach inspired Laing. She sold her café and trained in Rapid Transformational Therapy, a method that addresses the root causes of issues for lasting change. She established her own coaching business, Your Power Within Therapy, and shares advice on her Instagram page, @lizzielianglovemindset. She aims to help others by combining her hypnotherapy expertise with flirting coaching, emphasizing the benefits of real-life connections over dating apps.
Laing and her husband, Owen, have been married for two years and together for six. They now reside in Tunbridge Wells, Kent, and their relationship is characterized by an organic connection, a stark contrast to the "chaotic relationships" Laing previously experienced. 
