Janet Zitting, 32, has begun sharing her story of growing up in an offshoot of the Mormon faith that practiced polygamy, an experience that led her to question her beliefs and ultimately flee her community to avoid a forced marriage. Her accounts, shared on platforms like TikTok, have garnered significant attention, with some videos viewed over 32 million times.
Zitting's family followed the teachings of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (FLDS), a group once led by Warren Jeffs, who is currently serving a life sentence for child sexual assault. For Zitting, the practice of polygamy was not just encouraged but mandatory. Her father had four wives, and she was the twenty-fifth of 45 children. She recalled an early childhood memory at age ten when her mother instructed her to redraw a picture of herself and a future husband, adding another wife because the initial image was "too monogamous" and did not align with their religious beliefs.
This episode was one of the first instances where Zitting began to question her faith. She grew up in a large home outside Salt Lake City, Utah, where having one mother was not the norm. Her family lived a communal life, with meals prepared from scratch and chores shared among the children. They were homeschooled with a religious-led curriculum, and non-religious books were discouraged. The family also maintained a self-sufficient lifestyle, growing food, raising animals, and preserving food for the year. Neighbors were referred to as "gentiles," and Zitting's family was advised to keep their living arrangements secret due to the risk of her parents facing prison time for practicing polygamy.
The atmosphere within the large family was often tense, with jealousy and competition among the wives for their husband's attention. Zitting noted that while her parents tried to minimize conflict in front of the children, communication among the adults could have been better. The family did not celebrate birthdays, which Zitting believes was partly due to the religion's view of such celebrations as "worldly" and partly a financial constraint given the size of the family. Vacations and typical family outings were also not feasible.
Zitting began to question her faith more seriously around age 17, as she did not wish to enter an arranged marriage. She started dating secretly, a practice that caused conflict with her family's beliefs, as her boyfriend felt he was drawing her away from her "true husband." Stories from friends who had entered polygamous marriages further solidified her decision that this lifestyle was not for her, with one friend expressing that her husband's unfaithfulness was happening "in front of my face and I have to be okay with it."
At age 20, Zitting became one of the first in her family to leave the religion and her home without being married. She left with the quiet support of her mother, who even loaned her $200, though some siblings believed she was "going to hell." Today, her relationships with her siblings are strong, and she has become a mother to a one-and-a-half-year-old son. Her husband, whom she met 11 years ago, also left the faith, and they met after both had departed.
Zitting described her upbringing as a "high demand religion," which she acknowledged is a euphemism for a cult, but she uses the term to avoid alienating family members still involved. She confirmed that she experienced abuse during her childhood but has not elaborated on those details yet, stating that while there was love, there was also abuse. Her father died two years ago from cancer, and in his final years, he became more open-minded, even complimenting Zitting on a butterfly tattoo that he previously would have disapproved of.
Following her father's death, Zitting's mother also decided to leave the faith. Zitting's second mother passed away three years ago, a loss that deeply affected her siblings who lost their biological mother. Currently, Zitting is a full-time mother and content creator. She hopes to inspire others and plans to work with women seeking to leave the same religion, emphasizing that while some find happiness within it, others have the choice to leave if it is not for them.