Why Grieving a Celebrity Feels Personal, Sparked by Parton and Steinem Deaths

The recent, unexpected deaths of prominent public figures such as Dolly Parton and Gloria Steinem have prompted widespread collective mourning, with tributes quickly circulating online. These widespread expressions of grief occur even when individuals have never personally known the deceased, a phenomenon linked to parasocial relationships.

Parasocial relationships, described as "nonreciprocal social-emotional connections" with public figures, can foster a sense of personal connection for fans. When a celebrity dies, this connection can lead to a collective grieving process, where large groups mourn simultaneously, as noted by grief therapist Gina Moffa. This shared bereavement extends beyond celebrity deaths and has been observed following significant public events and tragedies like 9/11, the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, the COVID-19 pandemic, and natural disasters.

Psychotherapist Olivia Verhulst explains that this can manifest as parasocial grief, a feeling of one-sided familiarity with a public figure that intensifies after their death. "Relationships don’t need to be reciprocal for feelings to be real," Verhulst stated. "Loss brings up a lot for all of us no matter what form it takes, whether it’s shock, disbelief, or confrontation with our own mortality."

Research suggests that parasocial grief can potentially impact mental health, with one study indicating a link to unhealthy coping mechanisms. Compared to individual grief, collective bereavement often lacks the structured rituals like funerals, leading individuals to seek connection and validation online. Social media platforms have become modern-day memorials, where comment sections serve as spaces for shared mourning and remembrance.

Fans have found ways to honor public figures collectively. Following Gloria Steinem's passing, people left flowers and cards at her home, an act widely shared on social media. Similarly, after Dolly Parton's death, fans held up illuminated phones at a concert during a rendition of her song "I Will Always Love You," creating a communal tribute that also gained traction online.

Verhulst highlights that the "being witnessed" aspect of mutual sorrow can offer greater validation than individual grief. "Given that human beings are fundamentally wired for connection, this broader sense of communal loss can feel comforting in many ways," she noted. In contrast to the societal pressure to quickly move past individual losses, shared bereavement is becoming more accepted, with social media facilitating these communal expressions of grief across geographical barriers.

The theory of collective effervescence, coined by sociologist Émilie Durkheim, is relevant to understanding these modern mourning practices. A 2022 meta-review in Frontiers in Psychology discusses how this "intense state of shared emotional activation and sense of unity" can foster long-term connection among those experiencing similar pain.

"When Steinem and Parton passed within days of each other, comment sections turned into genuine gathering places, telling each other how these women shaped their lives," Moffa observed. "It made the feeling less isolating and more like something they were carrying alongside a whole community instead of alone."

Therapeutic interventions, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, can provide a safe space to process feelings of loss for individuals one has not personally known. This can help identify any unresolved or prolonged grief. Additionally, creating personal rituals, like listening to a deceased person's music or rewatching favorite clips, and then sharing these experiences with others can offer validation and connection, as supported by a 2026 study in Death Studies which found that shared emotions, ceremonies, and rituals contribute to "sense making, solidarity and healing."

Ultimately, navigating grief, whether individual or collective, is a personal journey with no predetermined stages or right way to mourn. Sometimes, the most beneficial approach is to grieve together.