Roughly one-third of parents who have adult children estranged from them believe that therapy influenced their children to cut ties, according to a survey of 7,000 estranged parents. This trend has prompted concern among experts about an increasing societal emphasis on "trauma" and victimhood.
William Doherty, a therapist and professor emeritus of family social science at the University of Minnesota, suggested that the current cultural climate, which he described as emphasizing fragility and framing everything as trauma, may lead individuals to believe that separation and leaving are the primary solutions. "We are in a culture where we emphasize fragility, everything becomes trauma, and the solution increasingly is to split and leave," Doherty stated. He added that cutting off a parent or loved one should be a rare exception, not a common occurrence in therapy.
A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family indicated that over 25% of young adults in the United States are, or have been, estranged from one or both parents. Karl Pillemer, a family sociologist and professor at Cornell University, noted that growing generational tensions over political and social issues could further exacerbate these rifts.
Mental health professionals are reportedly debating the rise in estrangement, with some experts expressing concern that young adults without familial support systems may be more vulnerable to entering and remaining in unhealthy relationships. Peter Anderson, a licensed marriage and family therapist involved in the survey, suggested that therapists might not always receive a complete picture from their clients when advising them to sever ties with parents. "A lot of therapists are taught to believe whatever the client is saying at face value," Anderson commented. "They’re forming conclusions based on one person’s account."
Rin Reczek, a sociology professor at Ohio State University who led the study in the Journal of Marriage and Family, proposed that a cultural shift toward prioritizing positive relationships over mending strained ones might make parental estrangement a more appealing choice for some adults. However, the same study also found that estrangement is often a temporary state, with many individuals eventually resuming contact with their parents. Some even encourage their parents to seek therapy alongside them. The study concluded that "despite moderate estrangement events, estrangement appears to be a relatively unstable family dynamic, with most people ending estrangement in subsequent waves," while also cautioning that even brief periods of estrangement can have lasting effects on an individual's well-being.