Relationship expert and therapist Sarene Arias is working to reframe the perception of divorce, moving away from the idea of it being solely a failure and towards a model she calls "compassionate divorce." Arias, author of "Discovering Diamonds: A Story of Compassionate Divorce," argues that ending a marriage can be an opportunity for growth and the establishment of healthier family dynamics, particularly for children.
Arias explained that her approach aims to normalize the process of separation, viewing it as a potential new phase rather than an ending. She described her "diamond workshops" as a way to help couples define success on their own terms, whether that means reconciliation or a respectful parting.
"My work, in the largest sense, is to help to normalize what I call 'compassionate divorce,'" Arias told Fox News Digital. "We can both feel, we can treat one another with mutual respect and we can work collaboratively to continue to make the best choices for our families even when that sometimes means that the couple needs to split."
This perspective contrasts with the often contentious and adversarial portrayal of divorce in popular culture. Arias emphasizes that a collaborative divorce does not negate the possibility of individuals seeking to thrive personally. "That's just not the same thing as a healthy thriving home. And I think it's okay to want for oneself to thrive," she stated.
Arias contends that children are more affected by the toxicity and conflict surrounding a divorce rather than the divorce itself. She believes that a compassionate divorce, handled respectfully and collaboratively, can lead to children better understanding the situation and maintaining healthier relationships with both parents.
"Children respond to toxicity in a home," Arias said. "And that toxicity, if the extent to which the toxicity in the home becomes a contentious divorce, of course that's extremely damaging to kids."
Arias' own experience with divorce informed her philosophy. She stated that over a decade after separating, her ex-husband remains a part of her "broader support network," and their current relationship is healthier than it was during their marriage. "We are way, way way more successful and happy now than we were," she remarked.
This approach challenges the binary view of marriage as a guaranteed happy ending or divorce as an outright failure, suggesting a more nuanced reality for relationships. While Arias advocates for this compassionate approach, data from the Pew Research Center indicates a general decline in divorce rates in recent decades. The refined divorce rate fell from 20.5 in 2008 to 14.4 in 2023 per 1,000 married women, a trend researchers partially attribute to shifting marriage patterns.