Divorce often brings with it a set of unspoken rituals, according to author Jana Hocking. She notes that while many divorced women engage in activities like posting healing memes, engaging in self-care, or undergoing a personal "glow-up," there's a particular move that often signals a specific reason for the split: infidelity.
Over years of observing friends navigate divorce, Hocking has identified a recurring pattern among women whose husbands have cheated. This pattern, she suggests, involves booking a cosmetic surgery procedure, specifically breast augmentation. She cites singer Lily Allen, who after her marriage breakdown, debuted new breast implants, joking they were "new additions to the family." Hocking views this as a symbolic act, a way to reclaim self-worth and send a message to the ex-partner.
While acknowledging that not all women who get breast implants have been cheated on, Hocking differentiates between those who divorce due to falling out of love and those who leave after experiencing humiliation. She observes that the latter group is more likely to seek surgical enhancement.
Hocking recounts an anecdote about a friend whose husband was unfaithful, evidenced by discreetly collected messages. After gathering proof, the friend proceeded with the divorce, secured a settlement, and used a portion of the funds for a personal trainer and breast augmentation. The ex-husband, Hocking notes, later complained about her enhanced appearance, regretting that another man would benefit from what he had indirectly paid for.
This post-divorce "glow-up," Hocking argues, is often misconstrued by men as an attempt to attract a new partner or engage in casual relationships. Instead, she believes it's an effort to rediscover the woman who existed before the relationship eroded her self-esteem, to feel confident and desirable again. This desire to feel like her former self, with "swagger" and a sense of sexiness, is a key motivator, especially when infidelity has deeply impacted self-worth.
Hocking also touches on the performative aspect that social media may have introduced to post-divorce reinvention. In previous eras, a woman's transformation might have remained private. Today, however, every aspect of a post-divorce renaissance, from fitness routines to cosmetic procedures, is visible to an ex-partner online. This public display, Hocking suggests, can serve as a "deliberately petty" act, a way to subtly assert that the upgraded version of oneself is now with someone else.
Ultimately, Hocking concludes that if a cosmetic procedure like breast augmentation helps a woman feel more confident and walk taller after experiencing betrayal, then pursuing it is justifiable. She advises against pretending the decision is solely practical, suggesting that the underlying motivations, as seen in cultural touchstones like "The First Wives Club," are often more complex and empowering.