The term "the ick," a sudden feeling of disgust or repulsion towards a romantic partner, has become a widespread cultural phenomenon. Popularized by reality television and social media, the concept has roots in earlier media, appearing in shows like "Ally McBeal" and "Sex and the City." While often dismissed as trivial, psychological research suggests it may be more complex than simple pickiness.
A 2025 study by psychologists Brian Collisson, Eliana Saunders, and Chloe Yin at Azusa Pacific University found that women are significantly more likely to experience the ick than men, with 75% of women reporting the feeling compared to 57% of men. The study also indicated that higher levels of disgust sensitivity and perfectionism are associated with experiencing the ick, while narcissism is linked to the likelihood of experiencing it. Researchers posit that the ick may stem from evolutionary protective mechanisms related to disease avoidance and mate selection, helping individuals identify undesirable traits in potential partners.
However, the nature of an "ick" is subjective and not universally applicable. What one person finds off-putting, another might not notice or may even find appealing. The phenomenon can manifest early in dating or emerge in long-term relationships. For instance, minor habits that were once overlooked can become significant turn-offs, potentially exacerbated by factors like perimenopause, which can alter one's tolerance for irritating behaviors.
To illustrate the breadth of this phenomenon, an extensive list compiled by Lisa Brady highlights common triggers. These range from financial habits like splitting bills on a first date to specific fashion choices such as wearing socks with sandals or Skechers with jeans. Other examples include poor grammar, sending "good morning" GIFs, rudeness to service staff, and even specific personal grooming habits like having oily hair or bad breath. The list also includes behavioral quirks like laughing at one's own jokes, talking with one's mouth full, or wishing celebrities happy birthday on social media.
Some less common but notable "icks" include owning a decorative guitar or bicycle mounted on a wall, using oven gloves to remove dishes from the oven, and displaying a photograph of oneself as a phone lock screen. Even certain dietary choices, like eating a burger with a knife and fork or a general inability to cook, are cited.
The compiled list acknowledges that while some "icks" might be evolutionary warnings, others are deeply personal and can be "hard to explain, impossible to justify, and at times irrational and often unfair." The subjectivity of the "ick" means that what triggers revulsion in one person may be inconsequential to another, highlighting the intricate and often unpredictable nature of romantic attraction and aversion.