The Growing Trend of 'No Contact' with Family Members

The practice of severing ties with family members, known as going "no contact," is gaining prominence, with online platforms and even therapeutic advice contributing to its normalization. Google searches for "no contact" have surged by 191% since early 2020, and the hashtag #nocontact has accumulated billions of views on TikTok.

Therapists observe an increasing willingness among individuals to terminate relationships, with some suggesting that families are less inclined to navigate inherent challenges in emotional bonds. Driola Dega, a New York City-based therapist, noted a "larger rush to terminate contact and relationships," indicating a reduced tolerance for conflict within familial or romantic partnerships.

According to a 2025 YouGov poll, 38% of American adults are estranged from at least one close family member. This trend has led to situations where therapists recommend cutting off contact. "But [no contact] has, nonetheless, taken off off in therapy," said Dr. Dee Apple, a psychologist. Annie Wright, a San Francisco therapist, views going no-contact as "often the only way to survive" in cases of severe abuse, but she also cautions that the trend has become overly fashionable.

Wright has observed clients being encouraged by former therapists or social media to sever ties prematurely. She believes that casually recommending no contact is problematic, especially when decisions are made based on a single difficult interaction rather than a pattern of behavior, or before open communication attempts. "A 60-second video can make no contact sound like the obvious answer... People can go in and make that decision really unprepared for how hard the aftermath is," she stated. She emphasizes that not all difficult family dynamics constitute abuse, and overusing terms like "trauma" can dilute their meaning for those who genuinely need them.

James Kerr, a therapist specializing in estrangement, echoed concerns about the oversimplification of "no contact" due to its trendiness. He noted that therapists may only hear one side of the story, potentially leading to recommendations without full context. While agreeing that severe abuse warrants no contact, Kerr advocates for greater caution in complex emotional situations.

A 2025 YouGov survey revealed that reasons for estrangement include manipulative behavior (34%), lies (31%), and physical, emotional, or sexual abuse (34%).

Karl Pillemer, a professor at Cornell University, has researched family estrangement extensively. He finds that therapists face challenges in resolving conflicts without involving both parties. Pillemer estimates that 27% of American adults have cut ties with a family member, and a small minority are unambiguously positive about the decision. "Most of the estranged folks described being highly ambivalent about it," he explained, noting costs such as broken attachments, chronic stress, grief, and collateral damage to other family members.

Pillemer's research suggests that trauma-based relationships account for a small fraction of estrangement, with more cases stemming from situational factors like differing values or in-law disputes. He posits that the "no-contact craze" may lead adult children to sever ties with reasonably good parents, potentially to their mutual detriment.

The increasing use of clinical language such as "trauma," "boundaries," and "toxic relationships" by adult children is a notable shift. Pillemer observes that this therapeutic lexicon is reinterpreting childhood behaviors, sometimes leading to misunderstandings with parents unfamiliar with terms like "gaslighting" or "narcissist."

Driola Dega also points to a uniquely American individualism that may fuel the trend, prioritizing the self over family systems. "Having lived in different countries, I’ve noticed that in the US, people tend to rely more on the ‘I,’ on the individual, rather than emotional connection and family systems," she said. "That promotes actually more distance, rather than understanding."

Dr. Dee Apple concurs, noting a heightened focus on individual needs over relational or family contexts, fostering a narrow "do what you need to take care of yourself" outlook.