Maintaining friendships in contemporary society presents unique challenges, prompting questions about the effort required to sustain these bonds. Dr. Katzman suggests a thought experiment: "A useful question might be: if I stopped doing all the work of maintaining this friendship, would a friendship still exist?"
Historically, many friendships have naturally faded when proactive engagement ceased. Conversely, close friendships that endure are often the product of consistent, reciprocal effort. This dynamic is likened to a tennis match, where the exchange of the ball signifies ongoing engagement, with occasional lapses quickly corrected to keep the game alive.
Adding to this perspective, former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, in his book Together, outlines distinct levels of social connection. These include an intimate circle of confidantes, a broader group of friends and companions, and an even larger network of colleagues and acquaintances. While all these connections are valuable, Murthy's framework implies that the intensity of close friendships cannot be sustained across hundreds of relationships.
Meehika Barua further emphasizes the importance of sustained commitment to relationships, even if not every social invitation can be accepted. The core idea is that while individual commitments may fluctuate, the overall dedication to the relationship needs to be present over time.